Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Just...sitting...thinking...planning my next move to get that new roll of toilet paper about 5 feet away from me.
←Rate | 07-23-2014 20:45 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ain't no sandwich when she's gone... Ain't no Sub when she's away..
←Rate | 07-23-2014 20:51 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I'm bored, I like to superglue Doritos to my cat and make it run around the house like a stegosaurus.
←Rate | 07-23-2014 20:53 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hate when Taco Bell doesn't have the all of their menu items on the drive thru sign, cuz then I have to just ask for.. "the thing that made me crap my pants last time"
←Rate | 07-23-2014 20:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Big shout out to fat dudes on crotch rockets for making us all laugh a little bit
←Rate | 07-23-2014 20:58 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon *Looks left... *Looks right... * Crosses road,,, * Gets run over by a chicken...
←Rate | 07-23-2014 21:03 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Getting paid to rate porn. Well, that's the excuse I will give if I am caught watching it. . .
←Rate | 07-23-2014 22:30 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Idiots are fun, no wonder every village has one.
←Rate | 07-24-2014 01:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some women; They deny sex but demand fidelity.
←Rate | 07-24-2014 01:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it always the ugly and fat women that are nymphos? For once I would like to meet a beautiful nympho.
←Rate | 07-24-2014 05:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 'for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until' you eat the last star crunch and pee on the toilet seat
←Rate | 07-24-2014 07:15 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can listen to Dire Straits "Sultans of Swing" and not play the air guitar, then you my friend have no soul!
←Rate | 07-24-2014 11:03 by J9 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sick of people worrying about the Criminal more than the Victim. I support the death penalty… and who cares how long it takes you to die during an execution? Di d you care when you killed those people?
←Rate | 07-24-2014 11:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't get along with Hipster kids. Not a fan of the smell of thrift stores.
←Rate | 07-24-2014 12:17 by Adam Drizzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Suffering is good for the soul.
←Rate | 07-24-2014 14:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Telephone: An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
←Rate | 07-24-2014 14:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sick of people who judge so quickly and also trust justice system too much.
←Rate | 07-24-2014 15:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so Facebook i'm sick of seeing all these stupid I'm so posts.
←Rate | 07-24-2014 16:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know how you can hear the sea if you hold a sea shell to your ear? I'm pretty sure if you hold dog sh*t to your ear it sounds like Justin Bieber.
←Rate | 07-24-2014 21:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon life is just one big mess.....OCD people hate messes....therefore OCD people hate life
←Rate | 07-24-2014 22:10 by Eddy Comments (0)  



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