Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I found out where the Terminator Action Figures are sold at Wal-mart. Aisle B, back.

   For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

   It's my pain and I'll cry if I want to!

   Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don’t do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!

   *Pizza Hut job interview* "Do you own a sh*tty car and smoke pot?" No sir. "You will."

   If by angry birds you mean flipping off a$$holes while driving then yes I'm at the expert level of Angry Birds

   It is easier to get forgiveness than it is to get permission.

   I use to hate facial hair, but it grew on me.

   I have more people on my block list than some of you have on your friends list. . .

   I hope Micheal Sam wins an ESPY for breakout female athlete of the year

   So "instagram" doesn't mean your dealer is right around the corner?

   Cooking is only the second best thing I can do in the kitchen.

   Maybe cops who plant evidence just really love gardening.

   It's funny how you become mom's new favorite when your sibling goes to jail.

   "When people fight and hate and kill over Me I'm obviously very flattered." - GOD

   "I just want a man who is honest, and will tell me what he is thinking" - Wishful thinking by women

   “Let me rephrase this question so I can get pissed off at you all over again.” - WOMEN

   Your restraining order says NO But your lazy eye says.......maybe later.

   It's not love if she takes the money off of the dresser.

   A woman that doesn't ask for nothing deserves everything