Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Sex-ed classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for six straight hours while watching the same cartoon on repeat........
←Rate | 06-26-2014 10:23 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon "You blew a tranny" means something completely different to an auto mechanic.
←Rate | 06-26-2014 11:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got to work late this morning so I have to leave early to make up for it.
←Rate | 06-26-2014 12:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon " How much for that bouncy castle " Sir that's a woman
←Rate | 06-26-2014 13:23 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I loved anything as much as women love telling other women "that's perfectly normal" without any medical training whatsoever.
←Rate | 06-26-2014 13:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I will be a functioning member of society today -calls in sick
←Rate | 06-26-2014 13:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yoga pants should be regulated. Excuse me ma'am, license and registration please
←Rate | 06-26-2014 13:38 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My thigh gap brings all the boys to the yard and they're like "standing with your feet 5 feet apart isn't a thigh gap."
←Rate | 06-26-2014 13:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon President Obama says his daughters need minimum wage jobs to "learn what it means to work." May I suggest the same for members of Congress?
←Rate | 06-26-2014 13:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don’t dance like no one is watching, dance like someone is watching and about to slide a twenty dollar bill into your neon thong.
←Rate | 06-26-2014 13:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How much for the vacation home? Sir, this is a coffin.
←Rate | 06-26-2014 13:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To settle an argument, think about why you are wrong and why she has boobs.
←Rate | 06-26-2014 14:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon FIFA, the world soccer governing body, says the guy who did the biting has to wear one of those dog cones for the rest of the tournament....
←Rate | 06-26-2014 14:46 by Mark M Comments (0)  


   messageicon America. Even when we lose, we still win..... USA!!
←Rate | 06-26-2014 14:56 by sully Comments (1)  


   messageicon Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore I was wearing one but I was still shot by the woman's husband
←Rate | 06-26-2014 15:26 by Ajdo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here's a little pro tip for ya, it doesn't have to be your birthday to buy a birthday cake. They'll just sell it to you no questions asked.
←Rate | 06-26-2014 18:37 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Shrek can find love, so can you. What I'm trying to say is, you look like Shrek
←Rate | 06-26-2014 20:26 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I'm leaving the work bathroom and I see the cleaning lady waiting, we exchange the knowing look that I just crapped in her office
←Rate | 06-26-2014 20:33 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon relationship status: LOL
←Rate | 06-27-2014 01:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Once you see Pharrell’s hat you understand how he’d be happy in a room without a roof.
←Rate | 06-27-2014 01:26 Comments (0)  



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