Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   If KFC Owner would pull a Sterling, they would go out of business.

   Freedom of Speech means you the right to say whatever you want whenever you want, but it doesn't exempt you from the consequences of free speech. If you can't handle the consequences of freedom of speech, you probably shouldn't be speaking.

   HOW TO TWERK.... STEP 1.....Reconsider...

   naked and afraid is much funnier when you make a fart noise each time you see a naked butt

   Hawaiian Airlines is now offering cheaper flights to Honolulu, with only a single stop to change wheel wells at San Jose.

   i think Hawaiian Airlines should change slogan to "we do wheely well"

   The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.

   I wonder if celebrities take Facebook quiz to see which non famous person they are? "You are Patrcia Smith. A janitor from Bridger, Montana!"

   Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.

   10 black men are the equivalent of 1 white man

   Interviewer: Any questions you’d like to ask us? Me: What level of candy crush are you on?

   the fact that Pitbul is considered a musician is more disgusting than the fact that toothpaste was invented years after french kissing was.

   Thank goodness Jehovah's Witnesses haven’t discovered Facebook yet. Let’s enjoy it while it lasts.

   If you’ve ever run out of alcohol then looked around the room for something to f cuk you up…then you’re a lot like me.

   You never really notice how many dogs bark on TV until you have a dog that barks back.

   You don’t know how much someone is worth to you until you sell them out.

   If my boyfriend wants to break up, he has to make a 16-slide powerpoint with his sources cited on why and if I don't like it then we are still going out

   My Futon pulls out, but I dont

   we can find old Atari games in a landfill but we can't find an AIRPLANE!?!?

   “What I am is what I am… what you are is under arrest