Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   So if Jesus sees his shadow when he comes out of his cave can we finally have spring?

   Easter falls on 4/20 this year...... Easter Bunny is going to have completely different grass in his basket!

   A little known fact from the Bible is that between his resurrection and his ascension into heaven, Jesus ate nothing but brains.

   On a scale from 1 to 420.. How much Easter candy are you eating right now?

   religion? um, ha, no. i'm not really into the idea of letting a set of ancient rules dictate my life. 

   So many porcupines... so little poop.

   Quit crying, kid. I won this Easter egg hunt fair and square...

   my dyslexic neighbor keeps looking for his god

   can you just let us believe in who we want to.. quit trying to convince us otherwise

   Do kids today even realize what great Buubs the Activia lady used to have?

   Can we have a song about being happy that doesn't involve clapping?

   If you tell me you're gonna "hop in the shower," I'll picture you naked, hopping around in the shower like an idiot.

   The car seats in your Neon really accentuate your gangsta lean bro.

   Reflecting on my life... I'm really surprised I haven't been shot in the face.

   Angel on my shoulder needs to shut up.

   if someone is bipolar & bisexual, are they a "quad"?

   People assume when I yawn that I’ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.

   I wonder if the serial killers use facebook. Jeffrey Dahmer : "Had a couple friends over for dinner last night"

   Yes Timmy,, The universe contains protons, neutrons, electrons............ but mostly morons, the universe is FULL of morons..

   Mary had a little lamb last night. I had a big lamb. My fat ancestors are dead.