Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Nothing stops a yawn faster than a dog trying to lick inside your mouth

   Coffee: Creative fuel!!

   Lock Chris Brown up till he's pregnant!!

   A lost and found but for airplanes.

   I never delete messages just incase someone try to play me and say I'm ugly. You wasn't saying that March 12,2010 at 4:35pm.hahahahahaa

   I just thought of something. The expression, "That's so 15 minutes ago" is so 15 minutes ago.

   you don’t get to say “long story short” 30 minutes into your stupid story about men, Janet.

   Fellas; There's no heterosexual way of taking a selfie.

   Letting people know they're idiots is my religion.

   I'm back on my feet again!! Wait, false alarm the remote is right here.

   Being 'clean and sober' means I've showered and I'm headed to the liquor store.

   Really Thailand???? Nobody asked??

   What if the Malaysian Plane is in the same place with the G-Spot?

   They let an Asian drive the plane?

   I want to be loved like white guys love khaki shorts.

   I don't need an excuse to drink, but thank you for giving me one.

   hey religion. we've just physically proved the big bang theory. your move...

   On a scale of 1 to "Get out you're fired" where does napping at work rank?

   If by baby you mean dog, then yes I'd love to see pictures of your baby!

   I am sorry I wasn't being completely honest when I said I was normal.