Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   If a woman ever calls you a "goofball", don't take it the wrong way. What they are actually saying to you is, "You are SO getting laid."

   I'm not funny, but I'm so stupid

   I hit "<BACK" one too many times on the Red Box machine. Now it wants to know if I want my selections on VHS or BETAMAX.

   Personally, I think it's bull that Russia didn't host the Winter Olympics in Chernobyl

   Some souls are consumed with what grows in the garden of others and then wonder, why their own does not flourish.

   So, I take it mushrooms are acceptably the norm in Russia... Well played Olympics

   A group of teens is called a whatever

   Wishing the amazing Olympic athletes from around the world the best of luck in Sochi (finding drinking water and toilets).

   I can party much longer than my cell phone battery.

   I think Oprah should marry Deepak Choprah and take his last name.

   f people who shop at Walmart, “Save Money. Live Better.” Exactly how bad were these people living BEFORE Walmart?

   that bowlof green chili burned a hole in my as

   Fri(end) Girlfri(end) Boyfri(end) Br(forever)o

   Since Kanye wants to write a song named 'I Am God' I wanna see him bring his dead mother back to life again.

   Parents have no idea what it's like to be a teenager in our generation…

   We can't help but to start liking the girls that become our good friends. Too hard to find girls that just like to have fun these days.

   Before telling your woman a PMS joke, you should assure she does not currently have PMS.

   Very disappointed that Nikolai Volkov wasn't selected to light the Olympic flame

   Yesterday I went to see a shrink about my Facebook addiction, everything was going smoothly and I was on the road to recovery until he asked me, What's on your mind? Damn it

   This hahaha guy just ignore him and dont rate his post he will be b gone. Trust me