Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Am I the only one that cringes when a catheter commercial comes on?

   Obama is like my girlfriend, always late...

   For a sec I thought I was watching a Grammys rerun

   Drinking game: Every time he says I or me drink

   To summarize: Blah blah blah, bad Congress, blah blah blah, bad Congress, blah blah blah...

   We can stop Iran from buiding a nuclear bomb by just pointing all our nuclear bombs at them...

   In other news the country is headed for a drastic warm spell tonight because of all the hot air pouring from Obamas mouth.

   I spilled ice out of my cup while I was outside and all of a sudden, my state has shutdown.

   Grim reaper; an executioner; a person who wants your fate, position, grades..

   You know she is not that into you and is also a groupie when she forgets your birthday but remember's to write a birthday message on Justin Bieber's pet Facebook page.

   “The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government - lest it come to dominate our lives and interests.” - Patrick Henry

   The problem with your relationship is, you're in a relationship.

   47% of the country misses Obama's speech due to winter storm. Somehow I don't think he cares.

   To the guy who invented Zero: Thanks for nothing!

   to all of you Virgins, thanks for nothing.

   Truthful Tuesday: Deep down,, I don't believe that paper beats rock.

   You can be gay, you can marry, I don't care about any of that. But just stop it with the "I was born that way" $hit!

   Even as a baby, I was straight. I loved titties then and I love them today.

   Fart when people hug you.....it makes them feel strong.

   They should give Bill Clinton 4 more years .