Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   keep your friends close, your shotgun closer.

   there is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot

   Thought cartoons were getting better. Turns out it was a news story about Justin Bieber.

   Excuse me but my Brain Has Too Many Tabs Open right now.

   I'm not giving any more money to the homeless. They're just going to spend it on cardboard and Sharpie's!

   I wonder if 3D printers print cookies? Because if they can't then they are useless...

   Day 88: I am thankful for my joke site. Without it I wouldn't be nearly as amusing on Facebook.

   Ladies, instead of asking, “Do these jeans make my ass look big?” you should ask, “Does this fat make my jeans look big?”

   It's a sick world where Paul Walker can die in an auto accident and Bieber walk away with a bad singing career... and breathing.

   If you can't be with the one you love, tolerate the one you're with.

   Baby, Baby, Baby, NOOOOOOOO! - Bieber's first night in jail

   have the comedians not woken up yet today or what? I can't post this crap

   That special moment when you enter a Starbucks and because the music is loud, you feel free to fart. Then you realize that you had your headphones on!

   both of yall are idiots because southwest doesn't even know where they fly to

   My wife thinks I have a gambling habit. She hasn't said anything, but I can bet that's what she is thinking.

   Did you ever stop to think and then forget to start again? That happens to me all the time.

   Every teenage girls super power is that they "literally die" every day and live to tweet about it.

   Can't wait for the NFL Pro Bowl tonight said no one ever.

   Maybe at tonights Grammy's, Justin Bieber will get the award of Demerit.

   I am not acting childish and you're just a big doody-head.