Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I am glad to say that even after all these years. I still follow Bell Biv Devoe's advice on not trusting a big butt and a smile

   Peyton Manning's forehead is large enough to show an Imax movie.

   This game is making me hungry for Omaha steaks

   Seattle vs Denver..Washington St vs Colorado...marijuana SuperBOWL..

   The Patriots defensive coverage today is almost as bad as the coverage by Obamacare.

   "What the h*ll is wrong with you, if I wanted a loser I would have married Tony Romo" ~ Giselle to Tom probably

   At this stage of the football season, all I care about is #s and food.

   Kaepernick wish he had them Dre beats noise cancelation head phones to cancel the noise from Seatle fans right about now!

   "Oooga Booga Ooga Booga" Richard Sherman

   The Weed Bowl is On!

   It's not all bad for Tom Brady. At least he won't have to listen to Bruno Mars.

   saw a magician driving today,first time I looked he was the only one driving,when I looked again a women suddenly appeared in the passenger seat

   when I bath I turn off all the lights and pretend I'm still in the womb, then I jump out turn on the lights and start crying....

   I hate cyclists. You're driving along enjoying life then BAM! you're stuck driving 10mph behind some jerk with way nicer calves than you

   My dog acts like every leaf blowing in the wind outside our door is going to murder his entire family. It's like, grow up

   Did you hear that? Busta Rhymes is the best corner in the game. Don't you dare put him up against Crabtree.

   Bong Bowl is on! Just don't drink the water

   If you think the Harbaugh or Manning brothers are competitive, wait until you meet two friends of mine, named Niles and Frasier Crane.

   Washington and Colorado legalize marijuana, Seattle and Denver advance to the Super Bowl. Coincidence? I think pot!

   Been throwing up gang signs at my mom all morning. Now she won't make me lunch.