Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
I just saw a huge and very intricate spider web downstairs, but I didn't see the spider...and if I can't locate this spider to take care of it I might actually be able to stay up to watch the ball drop tonight. 
I bet if Karl Marx had lived long enough to see Facebook he wouldn't have called religion the opiate of the masses.
You show me Karl Marx's grave and I'll show you a Communist plot.
If you're looking for an ambitious girlfriend, I'd like you to know that I love being on top.
I love that part of a healthy relationship where you realize what a psychopath your ex was.
The Germans gave us cars, The Russians gave us Vodka but The French... The French gave us threesome.
Oops, sorry I bumped my clit against your nose
I resolve not to swim in any swimming pool without water.
Poetry doesn't have to rhyme. It just has to touch someone where your hands couldn't.
One man's sarcastic answer, is another man's stupid question!
When her toes start throwing up gang signs, you know you've hit the right spot.
I love my new wood heater. Women actually want to take their clothes off for a change
The only toys I was allowed to play with in the tub were the dirty dishes.
I guess its official. Baby New Year is a boy again, and everyone's already waiting for his ball to drop.
Goal for 2014: Continue to live forever. So far, so good.
since New Years is on a hump day (Wednesday) maybe this will be the year I get a lo of humping
these neighbors shooting their guns off, you'd think a lot of people just died in The Hunger Games cause the gun sounds kinda like the cannon sound in the movie
I'm outside banging kitchen pots together so my neighbors can think I'm strapped......lol happy new years everyone
To all the Jehovas Witnesses: Happy 12:30am on a Wednesday!!!
Happy belated birthday Jesus. 