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Judging by all of the cologne and shower sets I got for Christmas either people know I like to smell good or I am failing at it. 
I'm glad that Christmas is over so I don't have to see that no talent ass clown who became famous and started winning Grammys on Honda commercials anymore!
Kanye West said he wants to be the 'Obama of clothing.' To achieve his goal, he's probably designing fashions that nobody wants and offering them on a website that doesn't work.
Returned every single Christmas gift today. Even handmade ones from my kids
I crammed 3 Christmas' s in 3 States within 2 days! I don't know how Santa does it!!!
If you are going to stalk me, at least be cute.
I've been thinking about walking away from everything and becoming an annoying J3W.
Nothing shows more Christmas spirit then then Egypt, and Sudan they keep sending each other cars- that blow up! Merry Christmas You Filthy Animal!
There are 364 days until Christmas and people already have their lights up. Unbelievable.
I always hoped my kids wouldn't have to suffer the same things I had to. Then Michael Bolton comes back....
Dear lady in front of me,,, it's a speed bump, not a friggin land mine
If miley cyrus and justin beiber were drowning, and you could only save one........ What kind of sandwich would you make?
Ya'll are welcome to try and seize the day... I gave it a whirl, but the damn thing bit me.
The sugar high of fun dip started to not be enough. This time I added adderal to the bag. I'll let you know how it goes.
Caffeine is the foundation of my food pyramid.
There are other things in life besides sex and alcohol. Those other things all suck, but they do exist, I assume.
Why drown in love, when you can swim in lust ?
Exposing kids to violent video games is appalling. They should be in church praying to a bloody statue of a man nailed to a cross in agony.
Dude if she was my girlfriends I would probably be drunk all the time too.
Be sure to always chase your dreams, with as much alcohol as you can buy. 