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mosquitoes are natures way of fighting nudity. 
I am NOT playing "Hard-to-Get". I'm playing "I-Don't-Want-You"
FUN SCIENCE FACT: When an Australian reads a really stupid post,,,, They roll their eyes counterclockwise
The great thing about being a guy is I don't have to put on a "face" to go outside. All I have to do is make sure my nutsack isn't showing and I'm pretty much golden.
I'm just surprised Superman didn't step in to prevent them from rebooting the Superman franchise again.
I hate when people asks me: What happened to the sweet old you? Well B**chhhes like you killed it!!
Lighting a cigarette immediately after buckling your seat belt is like saying "I wanna die soonish, just not today."
I bet the worst part about being single is knowing that even Hitler found someone who loved him
Justin Bieber has planned a trip to space. He's going to boldly go where everyone wants him to stay.
… you might be gay if you bend over and see 4 balls
Do not overly trust journalists coz they are more concerned with selling newspapers than telling the truth.
Just been watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there's already been a wrist injury...but I should be ok by friday;)
Mistakes are very fond of me.
I get it, you're an a$$hole. You don't have to keep proving it to me.
Obama says Bashar crossed the "red line" after using chemical weapons. So it's ok to kill thousands but don't you dare use chemical weapons.
I stepped in a big pile of Obama at the dog park this morning.
Bill Clinton has been acting funny ever since Michael Douglas made that oral sex comment.
Dear spelling and grammer Nazis I'm righting this hear to distroy your intire day. May korekting this update be the only thing you thinc of the hole weakend. Sinsyearly, Me
If Iron Man and Man of Steel were to team up, they'd be powerful alloys.
I'm bored. Maybe I should leave the house and check Facebook from somewhere else. 