Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   you can lose money chasing after a girl, but you can never lose a girl chasing after money.

   Sushi is raw fish? And you people eat this? We're supposed to be better than the penguins. BETTER THAN THE PENGUINS!

   playing hide and seek with Osama Bin Laden. Damb he's good.

   life is like the Mets I just can't win

   remembers when "google" was a word used to describe the eyes on pom-pom critters back in grade school!

   a woman was found dead at her home last night. Cause of death was Twittering. Apparently she had too many followers(stalkers).

   Balancing on my hands with a Vodka bottle in my rear and awaiting the intoxication

   can't help think that Christianity is based on one woman's affair, where her cover up story got out of hand..........

   not broke..he is financially challenged!

   saw Mike Tyson at the airport, I thought about going over to talk to him but I was concerned he would just take an earful and then leave.............

   reminds you that people will believe anything if it's whispered.

   thinks it would really help Jennifer Anniston's career if she would star in a few romantic comedies.

   thinks real men should never say the words "sippy cup".

   How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? Its not hard.

   One day three old ladies were sitting on a park bench and this guy jumped out of the bushes and flashed them.The first lady had a stroke, the second one had a stroke, but the third one's arm was too short to reach.

   thinks if ballrina's were jusy a little taller, they wouln't have to dance on their tippy toe's as much!

   would like to observe a moment of silence for all the innocent brain cells that lost their lives over the weekend.

   wishes you were beer

   Hey dude... There's your car!

   me+alcohol+nintendo64=profanity out the ass