Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   an amateur geinocologist

   with mr bean causing all sorts of tomfoolery

   Dear Friday, You and your friends Saturday and Sunday need to come around more often. I miss you. Love from your biggest fan, me.

   thinking if things get any worse will have to shag that sheep over there

   My hamster died today He fell asleep at the wheel.

   popping the collar and shaking the haters off!

   tonights "Built Ford Tough" Player of the Game

   there comes a time in every man's life when he takes a look at his wife and says to himself "where did I go wrong?"

   accidentally typed "Faceboob" into the search engine and up popped something entirely different.

   enjoyed watching some jerk at Starbucks get upset because he had to wait 4 minutes for them to brew a new pot of decaf.

   the first jockstrap was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. It took 100 years for men to realize that the brain was also important.

   Have you ever wondered if the $1 bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper butt?....You're wondering now!!

   coming out of his cage and he's been doing just fine. Gotta gotta gotta be down. Because he wants it all.

   Dear long weekend: you are cordially invited to show up early for beer, good food, fun with friends and sleeping late. Please RSVP!

   "Wake Me Up When September Ends"

   knows the last digit of PI.

   If life hands you lemons, then sqeeze them in someones eyes and book it the other way.

   gots soul but she's not a soldier!!

   just realized that if you change the word "wand" to "wang" in the Harry Potter books, suddenly the books become a lot more interesting.

   he can cook, clean, multitask, and definatly drive better then most of the woman he knows.