Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Behind every successful man is a surprised woman

   Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

   "Welcome, you have no mail, but you have 200 spam messages from yours truly"

   thinking women should come with a carfax

   going to make this day interesting by playing with matches and running with scissors out in traffic...

   caught the creepy crotch cridders

   Over dramatic people make me want to go on grand theft auto style rampages

   standing outside your heart...please let me in...=(

   making his stand at Thermopylae.

   feels like pile-driving his whiny coworker thru a thick glass table bound with barbed wire into a pool of rubbing alcohol with rusty nails and then set it on fire and drink a beer...

   so he thinks he can make the desicion to change our healthcare over night, comin from a guy who took three months to decide on the color of his new bed room, and 6 months on a dog....

   Life lesson #427:What doesn't kill you... will probably hurt like hell

   I'll keep my guns, my freedom, my money. You can keep the change!!!

   you have thousands of friends, but very little comments....What does that tell you?

   can be found at The Last house on the left...

   He does not believe in sharing unless someone else is buying.

   playing "Two Decades of Dignity." It makes him/her feel a little less guilty.

   first there were 3 broken axles then I died of dysentery. Damn Oregon Trail.

   The Mayan calendar says the world is going to end in 2012. That's why I refer to my Ziggy calendar instead.

   Why the hell didn't the Hamburglar ever steal and eat Mayor McCheese? I mean he was, after all, an ENORMOUS burger.