santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon showed my son the switch that makes the fridge light go off when the door closes. He looked at me like I'd just shot Santa in the nuts.
←Rate | 09-23-2010 09:35 by dragon-king Comments (0)  

   messageicon trying to get in the Christmas spirit, but I can't get the damn bottle opened.
←Rate | 12-02-2010 07:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon This Christmas, if you plan on jingling, please jingle ALL the way. Nobody likes or respects a half ass jingler.
←Rate | 12-13-2014 17:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Santa: This year instead of a gift wish list, I'm sending a list of people I would like to see disappear. Thank you.
←Rate | 12-14-2010 16:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wasn't planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung Galaxy phones.
←Rate | 09-13-2016 04:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Any of my friends who believe the "Mayan's Prediction" please let me know as soon as possible. Your opinion will only be based on this years Christmas gifts. Thanks :)
←Rate | 12-03-2012 11:03 by caperdude89 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just saved a ton of $ on Christmas presents by discussing politics on FB.
←Rate | 10-18-2016 11:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon if I tell Santa what I want for Christmas, then I will definately be on the naughty list...
←Rate | 12-17-2010 20:37 by MikeM Comments (0)  

   messageicon My brother took being sent to prison really badly. He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him, and smeared the walls with his own faeces. After that, we vowed never to play Monopoly again at Christmas...
←Rate | 01-02-2013 13:35 by @ballysboots Comments (0)  

   messageicon The average age of the viewing audience of "A Charlie Brown Christmas" is probably 35-45 years old.
←Rate | 12-23-2013 13:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just got my wifes Christmas gift. I hid it in the oven. She will never find it there!
←Rate | 11-18-2010 11:01 by Tim Comments (4)  

   messageicon Going to one of those places where you chop down your own Christmas tree, and then try to get away before they catch you.
←Rate | 12-02-2013 07:48 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hope everybody enjoys the new air guitar I sent them for Christmas.
←Rate | 12-25-2011 14:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It"s ok to pretend you're Irish on St. Patrick's Day. You pretend you're good on Christmas, don't you?
←Rate | 03-17-2011 12:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon There are four stages of life; 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus.
←Rate | 11-24-2011 13:57 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.
←Rate | 12-19-2012 01:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Merry Christmas! oh, its not evern thanksgiving yet? well, how about we forward that memo to the stores, cause its beginning to look alot like christmas..EVERYWHERE I GO!
←Rate | 11-06-2010 19:16 by Ann Comments (0)  

   messageicon You may remember me from such events as ruining Christmas dinner.
←Rate | 12-21-2014 01:11 by Baddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon FACT : If someone is playing Xmas music in October, you're legally allowed to kill them and use their corpse as a Halloween decoration.
←Rate | 10-03-2018 02:44 by Stevielea Comments (0)  

   messageicon christmas shopping online is confusing the kids..they see their toys being delivered one at a time. If the UPS guy would dress like Santa..problem solved.
←Rate | 12-23-2012 07:07 Comments (0)  

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