Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon ...and then the doctor slapped my little bottom and handed me to her. - How I Met My Mother
←Rate | 05-09-2011 11:48 by l33t Comments (0)  

   messageicon When you feel neglected think of a mother salmon who lays 3,000,000 eggs and no one remembers her on Mother's Day
←Rate | 01-05-2010 17:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think Old Man Winter & Mother Nature need to have a few drinks and make a little Spring.
←Rate | 02-04-2014 11:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Omg I'm so hungry I could eat my ex wife's cooking while sitting at the table with my ex mother in law!
←Rate | 11-28-2011 23:17 by KyRebel129 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Guardian Angel be like "I'm gonna lose my job and end up in hell with this mother f*cker..."
←Rate | 02-19-2016 18:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some things should not be abbreviated like Save The Dates (STD) or Future Mother in Law (FML)
←Rate | 05-25-2011 11:33 by Michael Comments (0)  

   messageicon My contribution to mother earth is not to waste water cleaning glasses when I can drink straight from the bottle
←Rate | 10-01-2014 14:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon To all the Moms: "Happy Mothers Day"! And to all the Dads: "Happy Sunday.. Mother Fu€Kers"!!
←Rate | 05-12-2013 11:42 by Jeffafa Comments (0)  

   messageicon Im Not The Girl Ur Mother Warned you About,,, Her Imagination Was Never This Good ;)
←Rate | 01-14-2010 23:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When my mother calls with a computer problem, I tell her to try shutting it off and turning it back on in 6 months.
←Rate | 09-04-2015 16:02 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon You'll never be the man your mother is.
←Rate | 01-04-2018 01:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Taking my Mother-in-Law swimming off the western coast of Australia
←Rate | 04-01-2012 09:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon just came back from a pleasure trip (took the mother-in-law to the bus station)
←Rate | 07-05-2009 13:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mother rabbit to baby bunny: "A magician pulled you out of a hat. Now stop asking questions."
←Rate | 03-26-2010 08:22 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mother's day is a great time to let her know you're gay. P.S. She knows.
←Rate | 05-06-2011 15:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Psychotherapy is like the boardgame Clue: "I know who did it. It was my mother, with the passive-aggression, in the 80's."
←Rate | 02-08-2011 18:43 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  

   messageicon Trying to get someone to agree with your political or religious viewpoint, is as futile as trying to convince a mother that her baby isn't the cutest thing ever.
←Rate | 09-19-2011 06:21 by Mick F Comments (0)  

   messageicon There's only one perfect child in the world; and every mother has it! Happy Mother's Day
←Rate | 05-09-2010 04:41 Comments (1)  

   messageicon the kinda guy your mother warned you about. Warned you not to let get away because a good man is hard to find.
←Rate | 02-14-2011 18:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dude. Go shave your mustache. Just because it looks good on your mother doesn't mean you can wear it well.
←Rate | 08-13-2012 00:59 Comments (0)  

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