Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Omg I'm so hungry I could eat my ex wife's cooking while sitting at the table with my ex mother in law!
←Rate | 11-28-2011 23:17 by KyRebel129 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A couple kisses and gropes in public and nobody bats an eye but let a mother breastfeed in public and all hell breaks loose. How did we get to this as a society?
←Rate | 10-02-2016 06:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Guardian Angel be like "I'm gonna lose my job and end up in hell with this mother f*cker..."
←Rate | 02-19-2016 18:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some things should not be abbreviated like Save The Dates (STD) or Future Mother in Law (FML)
←Rate | 05-25-2011 11:33 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon My contribution to mother earth is not to waste water cleaning glasses when I can drink straight from the bottle
←Rate | 10-01-2014 14:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing will ever prepare you for finding out your father's nickname for your mother is spanky bear. Trust me.
←Rate | 11-25-2011 09:28 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon To all the Moms: "Happy Mothers Day"! And to all the Dads: "Happy Sunday.. Mother Fu€Kers"!!
←Rate | 05-12-2013 11:42 by Jeffafa Comments (0)  


   messageicon Im Not The Girl Ur Mother Warned you About,,, Her Imagination Was Never This Good ;)
←Rate | 01-14-2010 23:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When my mother calls with a computer problem, I tell her to try shutting it off and turning it back on in 6 months.
←Rate | 09-04-2015 16:02 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Taking my Mother-in-Law swimming off the western coast of Australia
←Rate | 04-01-2012 09:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just came back from a pleasure trip (took the mother-in-law to the bus station)
←Rate | 07-05-2009 13:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mother's day is a great time to let her know you're gay. P.S. She knows.
←Rate | 05-06-2011 15:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's only one perfect child in the world; and every mother has it! Happy Mother's Day
←Rate | 05-09-2010 04:41 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Trying to get someone to agree with your political or religious viewpoint, is as futile as trying to convince a mother that her baby isn't the cutest thing ever.
←Rate | 09-19-2011 06:21 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Psychotherapy is like the boardgame Clue: "I know who did it. It was my mother, with the passive-aggression, in the 80's."
←Rate | 02-08-2011 18:43 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon the kinda guy your mother warned you about. Warned you not to let get away because a good man is hard to find.
←Rate | 02-14-2011 18:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dude. Go shave your mustache. Just because it looks good on your mother doesn't mean you can wear it well.
←Rate | 08-13-2012 00:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Mother Nature: Get off the Vortex aleready.
←Rate | 01-25-2014 17:08 by Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’ve hugged my mother-in-law with more warmth than those female gymnasts at the Olympics.
←Rate | 08-09-2016 23:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roses are red violets are blue, porn hub is down. So your mother's Facebook will do
←Rate | 01-06-2013 13:06 by Jackoo Comments (0)  



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