santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I just saved a ton of $ on Christmas presents by discussing politics on FB.
←Rate | 10-18-2016 11:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If my extension cord ever gets tangled with my ear buds and Christmas lights, I’m really screwed.
←Rate | 09-15-2016 02:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Surgeon General's Warning To Parents: When your kids are old enough to buy their own birthday presents for you, the gifts get really, really crappy.
←Rate | 09-14-2016 05:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wasn't planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung Galaxy phones.
←Rate | 09-13-2016 04:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The More You Know: Jesus loved trees not cake, that's why on Dec 25th we have Christmas Trees.
←Rate | 09-05-2016 16:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Santa Claus had a FB account,,,, none of us would get presents.
←Rate | 08-30-2016 20:54 by Snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only 4 more months until Ryan Lochte comes down the chimney and brings us all presents.
←Rate | 08-21-2016 14:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The night before the 1st day of school is just like Christmas Eve for parents
←Rate | 08-12-2016 16:39 by Uncle Bubba Comments (0)  


   messageicon Snorted 2 lines of pre-workout powder and now my apartment is decorated for Christmas..
←Rate | 08-02-2016 16:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Woke up this morning with a song in my heart. Sadly, that song was "I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas".
←Rate | 07-09-2016 21:59 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon It’s Fourth of July weekend, or, as I call it, Exploding Christmas.
←Rate | 07-01-2016 15:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now it's too hot to take down the outdoor Christmas lights.
←Rate | 06-16-2016 01:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's never too early to get life size cardboard cuts-outs of yourself made up for this year's Christmas presents.
←Rate | 05-28-2016 00:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet Jesus hates it that his birthday and Christmas are on the same day.
←Rate | 05-14-2016 05:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who say "May the 4th be with you" are the same people who say "see you next year" at the employee Christmas party.
←Rate | 05-04-2016 06:12 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon .... Told the wife that next long weekend I'm gonna actually get off the couch and take those Christmas lights down. Unless I see a spider then the whole things off.
←Rate | 05-02-2016 18:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I’m turning my house into an Italian restaurant.
←Rate | 05-02-2016 06:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Coffee Shop Sign: Unattended children will be given double espressos and made wild promises about what Santa is bringing them.
←Rate | 02-17-2016 03:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So, how is everybody enjoying the air guitars I sent them for Christmas?
←Rate | 01-22-2016 07:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well Christmas tree if finally out of the house, And back on my rear view mirror .
←Rate | 01-09-2016 14:37 Comments (0)  




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