santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon If Santa Claus had a FB account,,,, none of us would get presents.
←Rate | 08-30-2016 20:54 by Snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Only 4 more months until Ryan Lochte comes down the chimney and brings us all presents.
←Rate | 08-21-2016 14:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The night before the 1st day of school is just like Christmas Eve for parents
←Rate | 08-12-2016 16:39 by Uncle Bubba Comments (0)  

   messageicon Snorted 2 lines of pre-workout powder and now my apartment is decorated for Christmas..
←Rate | 08-02-2016 16:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Woke up this morning with a song in my heart. Sadly, that song was "I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas".
←Rate | 07-09-2016 21:59 by unknown comic Comments (0)  

   messageicon It’s Fourth of July weekend, or, as I call it, Exploding Christmas.
←Rate | 07-01-2016 15:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Now it's too hot to take down the outdoor Christmas lights.
←Rate | 06-16-2016 01:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's never too early to get life size cardboard cuts-outs of yourself made up for this year's Christmas presents.
←Rate | 05-28-2016 00:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I bet Jesus hates it that his birthday and Christmas are on the same day.
←Rate | 05-14-2016 05:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon People who say "May the 4th be with you" are the same people who say "see you next year" at the employee Christmas party.
←Rate | 05-04-2016 06:12 by Mike M Comments (0)  

   messageicon .... Told the wife that next long weekend I'm gonna actually get off the couch and take those Christmas lights down. Unless I see a spider then the whole things off.
←Rate | 05-02-2016 18:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I’m turning my house into an Italian restaurant.
←Rate | 05-02-2016 06:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Coffee Shop Sign: Unattended children will be given double espressos and made wild promises about what Santa is bringing them.
←Rate | 02-17-2016 03:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon So, how is everybody enjoying the air guitars I sent them for Christmas?
←Rate | 01-22-2016 07:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Well Christmas tree if finally out of the house, And back on my rear view mirror .
←Rate | 01-09-2016 14:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas gift.... πŸ“•πŸ“— They are due back at the library today. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
←Rate | 01-08-2016 22:51 by @kalleygirl Comments (0)  

   messageicon Am I the only person who feels like Christmas didn't even happen?
←Rate | 01-04-2016 17:37 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon Slightly used Christmas tree only one month old. Paid $60. Looking for $40. No low ballers. Serious inquiries only. Come on let's get this thing done.
←Rate | 01-02-2016 19:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Now that the holidays are finally over, my family can go home and I can start masturbating in my own house again.
←Rate | 12-31-2015 15:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Christmas. It's been a long 2 1/2 months.
←Rate | 12-26-2015 10:11 by Aaron Comments (0)  

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