love Funny Status Messages

   Her: I love the picture of you in your bedroom. Me: It's IKEA. Her: You did a great job picking it all out! Me: No, I took that picture in IKEA.

   People say "love' is the best feeling ever. However I think finding a toilet right away when you have diarrhea is better.

   It's snowing! And I think I'll go outside now for 30 seconds to take a selfie so all my Facebook friends can see how much I love the snow.

   Happy Valintimes, as I love you more then I can express on a website sent by means of a plastic artificial intelligence device <3

   Don't be sad if you're alone on Saint Valentine's Day as it could be worse like how it turned out for poor Saint Valentine who for the love of a woman was imprisoned then beat to death with clubs.

   With Valentine's Day just around the corner if you're secretly in love with me and would like a candlelit dinner with flowers and candy, it's to late shell out all that money, but talk to me talk on the 15th and maybe next year.

   Next time a telemarketer calls, hit 'em with an "I love you" right off the bat. Just keep saying it, no matter what they say..

   Going forward I'm only saying I love you to cheeseburgers.

   If you're alone and sad for Valentine's Day, to make you feel better just remember that for the love of a woman Saint Valentine was imprisoned then beat to death with clubs :-)

   "A trail of clothes leading up to a bedroom before marriage ment a night of pashionate love making. Now it means you dropped them on your way from the dryer.

   I'm just saying if she's into metric then I'd love to meter

   Making love is like baking a cake...most men don't know how to work the stove

   It's not that I can't stand people who attend the University of Florida, it's that I can't stand the red-necks who love the Gators.

   If you love Christmas so much, why don't you marry it, Eve? What I'm trying to say is: Merry Christmas Eve.

   I love my robotic vacuum cleaner that saves so much time and effort!...as long as I don't have to spend like an hour looking for it under furniture or in corners or wherever it got stuck and died.

   "I just called to say I love you." -Stevie Wonder not understanding how prank calls work

   Gotta love those girls in department stores wearing lab coats--taking time away from their experiments to help women out with their makeup.

   Me: Ooh, I love those pretty Christmas lights hanging over the street. Cop: Those are traffic lights, what's exactly in the thermos ma'am?

   Christmas as a child: "Socks and Money? This is ridiculous!" Christmas as an adult: "SOCKS AND MONEY? HOW DID YOU KNOW? THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED. I LOVE YOU"

   Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is to know what rhymes with "Hug me" Love, Robin Thicke