father OR dad Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Fun fact: If you say 'Bloody Maury' into the mirror three times, you WILL be the father
←Rate | 03-13-2012 07:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Luke, I'm like totally your father. Party on." ~~Garth Vader
←Rate | 03-15-2012 14:21 by scottyp Comments (0)  

   messageicon I am dreaming to became rich...just like my father..."is your father rich?" ...no! he is dreaming too
←Rate | 03-18-2012 18:17 by Xbbios Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whatever happens, Never agree to teach a girl how to ride a bike with her father watching..
←Rate | 03-25-2012 09:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.
←Rate | 04-04-2012 21:59 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon it's really inconsiderate of you to be this attaractive if you're not planning on being the father of my future children
←Rate | 04-06-2012 12:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Woman impregnated at Motorhead concert seeks father on Craigslist." And they say romance is dead
←Rate | 04-18-2012 11:06 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  

   messageicon A father's goodness is higher than the mountain, a mother's goodness deeper than the sea.
←Rate | 04-19-2012 22:53 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon Struggling with Impostor Syndrome a lot lately. I guess I just need to relax, take a breath, and remind myself that my father was the Czar.
←Rate | 04-28-2012 07:01 by flinnie Comments (0)  

   messageicon As a father to 2 sons & a grandfather to 2 grandsons,, I often find myself torn between.. "Don't ever do that again" and " Ahh,Good one!"
←Rate | 05-01-2012 13:25 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon People joke about Bieber Fever. Don't - Sigourney Weaver Fever killed my father.
←Rate | 05-15-2012 09:31 by flinnie Comments (0)  

   messageicon Have you ever just stopped and thought... "I was once inside my father's balls" ( ._. )
←Rate | 05-18-2012 15:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's weird how all the floor around my father is made of eggshells.
←Rate | 06-06-2012 07:34 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Police officer: "license and registration" Me: "DO YOU KNOW WHO MY FATHER IS!?" Police officer: No Me: "me neither".
←Rate | 06-09-2012 07:51 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just posted a hundred Father's Day cards, signed 'Your Secret Lovechild' to all the men in my neighborhood. Now all I have to do is hire a bus and pay a visit to the local orphanage to set Stage 2 of my plan into motion...
←Rate | 06-14-2012 17:04 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon Most kids are taught the normal 'Birds and the Bee's'! Not me I was traumatized! My father explained it to me by showing me a male and female outlet. To this day everytime I plug something in I get all worked up And dont let even show me an extension cord
←Rate | 06-15-2012 09:22 by eddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon A handprint in clay is a great Father's Day gift from a three year old. Kinda creepy from a thirty year old, though.
←Rate | 06-16-2012 06:24 by flinnie Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I can just make it one more day without some kid that I've never seen before wishing me a happy father's day this weekend will be a success.
←Rate | 06-16-2012 21:42 by JYP Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Father's Day to all the Dads who went out to get some milk, & actually came back home.
←Rate | 06-17-2012 01:17 by @Seddy90 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just woke my kids up and told them, “It's Father's Day! Where's my present?” They just started crying.
←Rate | 06-17-2012 05:25 by flinnie Comments (0)  

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