love Funny Status Messages

   Luke 6:27 But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you....I got you a Carnival Cruise ticket

   Kiss me before I brush my teeth in the morning so I know your love is real.

   Watching p0rn and the woman actually said "i love you" in the heat of the moment & its the most disgusting thing i've heard in a p0rn ever.

   The way my first love would just melt in my hands,with kisses so sweet,and open hearts full of delicious memories- yes even the decadent Bars that brought us together. Truth is you never forget your first love...especially when its Chocolate.

   “You can't stop loving or wanting to love because when its right, it's the best thing in the world. When you're in a relationship and it's good, even if nothing else in your life is right, you feel like your whole world is complete.”

   I tell people that the secret ingredient in my cookies is "love," but it's actually "floor"

   America. .......for the love of sanity......wake up..... your going to hell in a hand cart

   My ex-wife seems to think she is a female version of Nostradamus. Before the divorce she predicted that I was going to pay for it, that I would never find love again, and that my world as I know it was going to end... a year and half later I'm a belliever

   When cops do that thing where they park side by side in an empty parking lot and talk for hours, that means they're in love, right?

   I love cooking for my man because it makes me feel both independent and oppressed at the same time.

   IKE if you love that feeling when you finally take your shoes off at the end of the day.

   I love when people say "they're expecting a baby" as though it might be something else, like a penguin.

   love is a social disease.

   Love: When you take a bubble bath together Lust: When you take a bath in Jell-o together Marriage: When you give the kids a bath

   Why I love winter: 1. Christmas morning with my kids 2. Snow 3. My wife keeps her clothes on during sex. 4. Liquor in my car stays cold

   How come men go to $trip clubs with other men? I'm thinking of getting a b0ner later, you wanna come? Come on man let's go get some b0ners, my treat! I love going out with my buddies and getting b0ners with them...

   would love to own a maternity store. He would call it "Come Inside"

   If he doesn't grab your hips and pretend to bone when you bend over for something, it's not love. Or he's mature and well... boring.

   My Mom is made entirely of flaws,, Stitched together with good intentions and a pantload of love....Love you Ma.

   I am so overwhelmed by the birthday love, and SO underwhelmed by the birthday gifts!!!!