Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6198 of 6370
Nudist Camp sign: "Sorry, Clothed for Winter".
if it gets any colder britney spears will have to wear underwear
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01-06-2010 13:38
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wondering if anybody ever won the lottery playing the lucky numbers in fortune cookies
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01-06-2010 13:32 by Yaj
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just realised dat wen a guy opens the door of his car for his girlfriend one of them is brandnew!!!
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01-06-2010 12:10
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wonders if ghost say "I see living people"?!
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01-06-2010 12:06
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It will snow. Fine. This is not a reason to panic. Tesco will not run out of food before you starve so don't go shopping like a twat, if you're unsure whether to drive then just don't ok. Ever. Sell your damn car and get on a bus. And please don't ring th
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01-06-2010 11:10 by craneman
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Sick of all these crap diets on tv here is the best 1 for ya stop shovelling junk food in ya trap
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01-06-2010 11:00
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doesn't know the key to success, but definitely knows that the key to failure is to try to please everyone
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01-06-2010 10:13 by Ryaz
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Britain: The only nation that runs more efficiently through a world war than through a snow storm.
on itunes below "Party in the USA" by Miley Cryus, it said "Listeners who bought this also enjoyed, 'Sounds of People Farting into a Mic."
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01-06-2010 09:48
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almost killed today when she fell off a horse. Thank god the Kmart employee saw me, came over and unplugged the thing!
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01-06-2010 08:36
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cleaning out her medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time!!
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01-06-2010 08:31 by Tizz
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fighting for world peace...one beer at a time.
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01-06-2010 06:35 by steve
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you wouldnt know where your heading until your know where you have being !
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01-06-2010 03:01
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global warming my ass.
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01-06-2010 02:23 by fefe
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Snow: where a couple of inches will keep a woman in bed all day.
I am only ONE, but still I AM ONE. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. And because I can't do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do =)
wondering how she can go forward when she doesn't know which way she's facing
at the crossroads of life and has taken the road less traveled........only because of my stupid "Tom-Tom" those GPS devises can be very irritating sometimes.
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01-06-2010 01:32 by Frozenman
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really doesn't get the underwear bomber...i mean even if the bomb works there are gonna be 72 very disappointed virgins
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01-05-2010 22:53
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