Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6150 of 6370
doesn't have a drinking problem. He drinks. He gets drunk. He falls down. No problem...
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02-03-2010 13:49 by samdave69
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using a lightsaber to chop vegitables.
in the words of the chef on the muppet show - "Orshky Borshky Chicken!"
Dont sh!t where you eat...A friendly reminder brought to you by The Stop Being A Dumb@ss Association.
a lesbian trapped in a mans body.....
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02-03-2010 13:02 by samdave69
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Sometimes God turns you upside down so you can learn to live rightside up.
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02-03-2010 13:00 by BTWykle
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No unwilling people were harmed during the making of this status. Viewer discretion is advised
Hard work never killed anybody, but it does keep you off Facebook.
that a person who really loves you is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everoyone else still believes in the smile on your face
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02-03-2010 12:32 by khaleed
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What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh*t..."
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02-03-2010 12:31 by Octane
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To think, it takes time. To think what to think takes even more time. To think what you just read takes less time.
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02-03-2010 12:27 by Octane
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Virginity is not a dignity.It's just a Lack of opportunity.
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02-03-2010 12:25 by Octane
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Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
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02-03-2010 12:22 by Octane
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Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
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02-03-2010 12:19 by Octane
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There is no such thing as "normal". There is only a lot of weird people doing the same weird things.
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02-03-2010 12:15
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behind every good man is a woman and behind her another man stairing at her butt
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02-03-2010 12:13
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The only contribution some people make to society is carbon dioxide.
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02-03-2010 12:10
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Life's a B****, but she throws one hell of a party
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02-03-2010 12:05
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learned not to leave the KY next to the Preparation H on the bedside table. When they say it shrinks the swelling...they AREN'T kidding!! Talk about a buzzkill!
According to greek mythology, humans were originally created with 4 arms, 4 legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.
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02-03-2010 11:54
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