Funny Status Messages

   Strangers have the best candy!

   Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals...

   says that other's opinions are just other's opinions... stay true to your inner guidance and smile at all the frowns...

   thinks Toyota should change its motto from "Moving Forward" to "MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!"

   can't figure out why the Toyota Prius owners would be worried about brakes, since the car can't go fast enough to hurt anything anyway.

   thinks Obama could help solve the Toyota crisis by raising the federal speed limit to 120 mph

   Disney World : A people's trap operated by a mouse.

   hates it when he asks someone a question and they start their answer with "Honestly?"......No! Please lie to me, that's what I was hoping for.....idiots!

   wishing he had bought his ex the Toyota Prius she was always wanting!

   misses the good old days of giving a box of heart's saying I want to get down with you in so many words!"

   Best part of my life is chocolate ice cream

   Know your limitations people! Just because the item says "one size fits all" doesn't mean you should try to fit your big a$$ in to it....just sayin'

   I'm just trying to help everyone with the hacker post. I had a guy named Phua Soon Hock trying to hack me!

   Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.

   ..thinks you look fabulous! Who did it and how much?

   a cookbook is like a Danielle Steele novel for chubby girls....

   putting his left foot in and taking his left foot out - but he is NOT doing the hokie pokie, he's killing roaches...

   lives with fear everyday. Sometimes she lets him go fishing....

   wakes up grumpy, but most days he just lets her sleep....

   You've heard of the "Soup Natzi"?.....But have you heard of the "FACEBOOK NATZI"? If you've ever had to delete a comment....you have! No more FACEBOOK FOR YOU!