Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6145 of 6371
•Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
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02-05-2010 18:43 by cj
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•Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs?”
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02-05-2010 18:43
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Use this for•The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
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02-05-2010 18:42 by cj
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tired of my abacus's running away from me, I need one I can count on!
one has facebook complex when he/she needs to have as many "friends" as possible regardless of who they are or if they even really know the person.
A pat on the back is just a few centimeters away from a kick in the ass.
: Taylor Swift has applied for a patent for her invention of a new musical key.
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02-05-2010 15:07
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thinks if adam and eve were chinese they would have eaten the snake instead of the apple!
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02-05-2010 13:56
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after so much studying , he is going to PASS his BAR tonight!
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02-05-2010 13:40
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Finally got Laid... And you all thought It would never happen!
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02-05-2010 13:39
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now that she's gone, Hands back into my pants!
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02-05-2010 13:38
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is doing "The Pee Pee Dance!". Not because I have to go... I just think it's a cool dance...
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02-05-2010 13:21
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Celebrating 6 yrs of a social epidemic.Congrats Facebook for connecting people with friends;old,new,and weird. Using up people's time online. Poking as many women as possible.F*cking up relationships/marriages,and checking up on people's exaggerated lives
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02-05-2010 12:57 by Danmanz
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masticating in a crowded restaurant.
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02-05-2010 12:24 by dave
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"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits"
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02-05-2010 12:17 by NYSNOBDRX
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veni, vidi, velcro. I came, I saw, I stuck around...
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02-05-2010 11:53 by samdave69
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In life, success is determined by the amount of sh!t you can take
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02-05-2010 11:51
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: Everytime I hear the dirty word "excercise", I wash my mouth with chocolate.....
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02-05-2010 11:32 by samdave69
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pays tribute to Mickey Mouse who will turn 82 years old this year. He's now the oldest rodent in show business, unless you count that thing on Donald Trump's head....
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02-05-2010 11:30 by samdave69
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saw a naked man running down his road. I rolled down the car window and asked "hey why are you running stark naked " to which the naked man replied "because you are home early....."
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02-05-2010 11:27 by samdave69
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