Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   YOU! Out of the Gene Pool.

   I got F C and K. The only thing missing is you !

   REMEMBER IN FAT AND SLIM: F - STANDS FOR FOOD AND S - FOR STARVATION

   ...just heard that the "Octomom" won't rule out having another baby...well then, I think we can safely rule out her having even one more brain cell left...

   Well,today was a total waste of makeup.

   What's that you say? I can't hear you over my free health care and worldly education. Douchebags!

   If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0

   there a toilet in your mouth or are you just talking crap again?

   Behind every successful student, there is one girlfriend. But what about a failed student.....? A beautiful teacher

   never allowed his schooling to interfere with his education.

   If we really knew exactly what we were getting into when we decided to have kids, I'm pretty sure we'd be screwed as a species.

   it true? are they finally serving milk at Hooters???

   encrypting a secret message within this status. Examine these words carefully. The first one to decrypt the message wins...

   was using a public restroom today and as I looked at the "posts" on the bathroom walls and the responses to each one, I realized where the idea for FB came from...

   Finally got around to deleting my Twitter account today. It could be that I just paraniod, but I swear somebody was following me...

   Surprise n shock as A KILLER whale kills a highly trained animal trainer! Duh! killer!

   Octomom "I can't rule out having one more baby." Really? You know what I can definitely rule out? You having even one brain cell left.

   Today is National, "I Really Don't Give a $hit" Day". 92% of FB Users won't post this to their profile status, will you or don't you give a $hit either?

   learned an important lesson yesterday, Rice Krispies and hangovers do not go good together. First time she ever had to tell a bowl of ceral to shut the f*ck up!!

   Hangover in progress.....please donot disturb