Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6100 of 6370
looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun, you don't stare at it, it's too risky!!
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03-01-2010 19:39 by Krypton
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Well if Killer Whales kill, I dont wanna know what Humpback or Sperm whales do...
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03-01-2010 19:23
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Call it a hunch, but I'm pretty sure I have an abnormal convex curvature of the upper spine.
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03-01-2010 19:20 by Y.P
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Sky News "Tree Falls On Bank" Does anyone happen to know what branch ?
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03-01-2010 19:12 by Y.P
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wondering if Shaq has my back, how come he never pays my cable bill?
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03-01-2010 18:41 by COREY
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had a party last night... sorry you could not come but your girlfriend did.......TWICE
Women like having four animals in the house: a jaguar in the driveway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskull to pay for it.
wonders...if NASA sends a pregnant woman into space and gives birth...is the baby an alien?
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03-01-2010 18:11
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Gravity always gets me down...
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03-01-2010 18:10
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Don't try to understand everything.. because sometimes it is not meant to be understood... but rather to be accepted...
Since I'm now single, if I broke my hand could I put "it's complicated" as my relationship status?
thinks life is pleasant, death is peacefull... it's the transition that is troublesome.
A girl broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed together. Solution??? I sent them to her dad.
best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup; the best part is remembering the name of the person sleeping next to you.
I'm not saying my girlfriend is thick, but we had a gas leak and she put a bucket under it.....
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03-01-2010 16:27 by Y.P
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I far too sleep deprived, my hemorrhoids are flaring up, my farts smell minty, and these Mentos taste like glycerin. What's going on?
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03-01-2010 15:26
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Just passed up an invite from the USA hockey team, to bring the gold in 2014. After checking my calendar, I have a hair cut appointment that conflicts.....Dammit!
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03-01-2010 15:22
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when I die at my funeral I want to be dressed like I was when I was born , butt naked !!! open bar for the lads , open coffin for the ladies !!
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03-01-2010 14:50
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Selling his soul for a bag of skittles.
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03-01-2010 14:25
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Looks good on the dance floor, dancing to electro pop like a robot from 1984
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03-01-2010 14:20
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