Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6079 of 6370
They named a hurricane after a guy, and where did it go? Straight for the virgin islands!
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03-12-2010 23:54
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has ordered a home delivery from KFC and Denny's simultaneously, so he can see which comes first, the chicken or the eggs.
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03-12-2010 19:37
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I will not listen to people who burst my bubble because they are always negative. But I will listen to people who I know have my best interests at heart even if they burst my bubble.
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03-12-2010 19:06
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If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?
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03-12-2010 18:22 by David
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80's music is so 2002
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03-12-2010 17:29
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I Speak Fluent Sarcasm....
just got the call that I'm going to be on national TV tomorrow night (Saturday). I haven't said anything about it because I didn't know when it was going to be on. Make sure you look for me at 8pm on Fox
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03-12-2010 17:11
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You know the chilli you had last night was good, when you have to wipe your a$$ with a snow cone!!!
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03-12-2010 15:45
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Spent the whole day checking items off my task list. In retrospect, I probably should have used that time to complete tasks
Copywight 2010 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.
I want a Toyota even more than before. Now if you get pulled over you can blame the accelerator!
"Before you leave the American Idol stage please sing a song and remind everyone why they didn't vote for you."
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03-12-2010 14:34
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Sex is like air... it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
There's another Twilight coming out??? WTF, when will this f*cken torture end!!
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03-12-2010 13:56
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Women are like computers....... They take too long to warm up and a better model always comes along once you've already got one.
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03-12-2010 11:54
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Thinks it would be completly acceptable to eat Taco Bell tacos today for lent because they don't contain REAL meat
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03-12-2010 11:13
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Damn it, we're men. It's our god-given right to watch sports and smut.
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03-12-2010 11:09
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A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
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03-12-2010 11:01
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I saw your mother naked and everything went black!!! I think my eyes were trying to protect my heart!!!
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03-12-2010 11:01
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Behind every successful man is a woman who didn't marry me.
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03-12-2010 11:01
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