father OR dad Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon In honor of Father's Day, I came up with a bourbon and cookie diet that is going to make me so rich... And fat... And drunk... Well, at least two of those
←Rate | 06-16-2013 10:30 by Fluff!! Comments (0)  


   messageicon For Father's Day, I just want to wear my Crocs and Ed Hardy shirt and still be loved.
←Rate | 06-16-2013 10:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Father's Day; the most confusing day in a trailer park where chances are your father might also be your older brother.
←Rate | 06-16-2013 03:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The ONLY 2 acceptable excuses a man can't spend time with his child is if he's DEAD or IN JAIL, Happy Father's Day
←Rate | 06-16-2013 01:58 by @seddy90 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Dear Dad. Thanks for not pulling out. Happy Father's Day!
←Rate | 06-15-2013 22:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon All I want for Father's Day is the last freakin donut.
←Rate | 06-13-2013 22:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Belichick, Brady, & Tebow: The NFL's Father, Son, & Holy Ghost.
←Rate | 06-10-2013 18:59 by @tjshomedotcom Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you have never said "Luke, I am your father" into an empty pringles can, then you probably should get on that
←Rate | 06-09-2013 21:56 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Our Father who art in Chicago. Hockey be thy name. Thy will be done, the Cup will be won, on the ice as well as in the stands.
←Rate | 06-06-2013 19:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A pregnancy test that also tells who the father is. But instead of a stick, you pee on Maury Povich. Don't worry, he's into it. TRUST ME
←Rate | 05-31-2013 08:54 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dad's ability to drive with one hand while reaching back and smacking the right child, somehow always impressed me... Happy father's day dad!
←Rate | 05-20-2013 13:37 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon There have been more collect calls in history on Father's Day than on any other day of the year.
←Rate | 05-16-2013 08:11 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Babe I'm Pregnant" Guys be like: ♕ KEEP CALM I'll HELP YOU FIND THE FATHER
←Rate | 05-15-2013 13:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girl's father got mad at me, for writing my name in piss on the side of his house. I said "what about your daughter sir, it was her handwriting"
←Rate | 04-07-2013 13:38 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're for gay marriage then you are also for hurting children. Kids need a mother and a father:not two dads or two moms. There is no arguing this fact.
←Rate | 03-28-2013 17:20 Comments (10)  


   messageicon The doctor just told my girlfriend and I that the baby is going to be born prematurely. Like father, like son.
←Rate | 03-27-2013 12:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder during the election for Pope, did the other cardinals point to the losers and say excitedly "you are NOT the father"
←Rate | 03-13-2013 14:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to have three children.. One girl, named Stacey, so my wife can be Stacey's mom.. And she will have it going on.. One boy named Luke, so I can say "Luke, I am your father." and one more boy named Sparta.. So I can introduce him 'THIS IS SPARTAA'
←Rate | 02-26-2013 12:33 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon Danica Patrick's dad is probably the first father in history that's happy to see his daughter on the pole.
←Rate | 02-24-2013 14:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon On this Presidents day we celebrate our great leaders; Washington, the father of our country, Lincoln, who freed the slaves, Reagan, who tore down that wall and Kennedy, who banged Marilyn Monroe.
←Rate | 02-18-2013 17:53 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  



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