Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5966 of 6370
I can't see an end.I have no control and I don't think there's any escape - I don't even have a home anymore......................Definitely time for a new keyboard!!
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04-29-2010 12:03
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I could never own a Porsche because I refuse to pronounce it like the Douche Bags that own them do.
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04-29-2010 11:44
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I think more people would go to the library in school if they spiced it up a little bit... like maybe putting and open bar or strip club in it.
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04-29-2010 11:01
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saw an amazing looking girl the other day wearing a T-Shirt that said 'Fight Poverty'. So to impress her, I ran over and punched a tramp.
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04-29-2010 10:38 by BigB
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Do I wake up grumpy in the morning? Nope. I just let her sleep
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04-29-2010 10:19 by AndyB
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I just saw a picture of Lady GA GA she has a nice Camel Toe ,I mean MOOSE KNUCKLE !!!!
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04-29-2010 10:02
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Always finishes what I sta
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04-29-2010 09:37 by Wolf
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went into my local store and I saw that they had put up a big sign saying, "NO READING IN THIS SHOP",I grabbed 4 bars of chocolate, took them to the counter and said, "Which of these is the Dairymilk?"
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04-29-2010 09:33 by AndyB
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Hiring someone attractive does necessarily not mean they will be a productive employee...unless this person is a prostitute.
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04-29-2010 08:58 by Leeferd
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sad that '24' is coming to an end after 8 seasons. I have given 8 whole days of my life to this series.
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04-29-2010 08:53 by markf
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been trying to think of a term to describe the amount of time it takes the earth to complete one single rotation, but I'm thinking of calling it a day.
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04-29-2010 08:30 by AndyB
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There's a huge debt crisis in Greece. Apparently they've got bills.........they're multiplying.
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04-29-2010 06:22 by AndyB
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waving his pants and shouting 'viva la revolution'
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04-29-2010 06:13 by preet
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hiding from trolls, you never saw me....
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04-29-2010 06:07 by preet
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"Barcelona expected to win. They have had an incredible surprise at the San Siro. Then we understood... they had fear". - Jose Mourinho
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04-29-2010 03:37
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traffic lights turn green so fast, I cant even update my status
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04-29-2010 03:23
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How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you re on
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04-29-2010 03:15
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reading a book....yea I know I was shocked too
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04-29-2010 02:13 by chris
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Has anyone out there ever tried Auto Erotic Asphyxiation? I haven't...just curios if anyone else has....
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04-29-2010 01:03
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resistance is futile, you will be assimilated. We are facebook.
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04-29-2010 00:03 by Corey C
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