Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5952 of 6370
How come there can't be one less Justin Bieber
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05-03-2010 23:57
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I bet him anul if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
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05-03-2010 23:56 by paulb808
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I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my a$$.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
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05-03-2010 23:53 by paulb808
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A stripper just got mad at me for saying godd@mmit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
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05-03-2010 23:52 by paulb808
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Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my p*nis".
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05-03-2010 23:51 by paulb808
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Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
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05-03-2010 23:47 by paulb808
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May 4th is Star Wars Day. I hear to celebrate you have to go back to your parent's basement, spend all night alone in a costume, then retreat under the covers with a wookie photo, two cinnabuns, and a flashlight.
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05-03-2010 23:34
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Damn predictive text! I swear, I honestly didn't say I wanna kick your puppy
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05-03-2010 23:27
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A. B. C. D. E. F. G. Someone should've told you not to fu ck with me
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05-03-2010 23:21 by one
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Real men don't cry........ Real men point and laugh at the fag thats crying...........
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05-03-2010 22:34
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wonders if the neighbors realize just how slow their Internet is...geezus I've been trying to watch 48 hours mystery for the last 2 hours!
thinks that, that Veronica Vaughn is one piece of "ace"....I know from experience!!
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05-03-2010 20:57
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What is the generic brand name for Viagra? Mycauxaphallon.
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05-03-2010 20:01
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"Blonde men aren't dumb, they're evil. Like in the Karate Kid and World War II." - Bart Simpson
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05-03-2010 19:48 by mike
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has turned on Airplane mode on his Palm Pre, but so far it hasn't taken off.
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05-03-2010 19:40 by Joser
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It takes a big man to cry. It takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man.
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05-03-2010 19:24 by Joser
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two nuns are riding their bikes down a small stone trail, one nun tells the other "wow, I've never came this way before", "yeah I know, it must be these stones
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05-03-2010 19:23 by one
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As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way...
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05-03-2010 19:23 by Joser
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wondering why women want men to open their car door for them, but yet they want to vote... PICK ONE!!!
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05-03-2010 17:51
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