Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5947 of 6370
I wish mosquitos sucked fat instead of blood.
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05-05-2010 11:02
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For those who don't speak Spanish, Cinco De Mayo means "Hold the Mayo"
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05-05-2010 10:49
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Cinco De Mayo, the only day Mexicans are glad they are Mexican and celebrate for a country they were so eager to leave. So since if you aren't a Mexican today just drink like one!!!
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05-05-2010 10:46
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celebrating Cinco De Mayo by having some tequila, tacos, casadias, and cho cha
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05-05-2010 10:28
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Happy Cinco de Mayo! Viva Tequila!! Just cause me and Mr. Cuervo don't always get along, doesn't me we won't be Tangoing the night away! Fiesta !!!
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05-05-2010 10:01
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Maybe the Greeks wouldn't be so broke if they would stop having big fat weddings
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05-05-2010 09:52
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So, the Phoenix Suns are going to have "Los Suns" on their jerseys for the next game. I think that "el esquema de marketing" would be more appropriate.
sitting on the poarch squirting squirrels with a 70 foot squirt gun! Take that you ratts!!!
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05-05-2010 09:30
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wants you to remember the "Golden Rule"....whoever has the gold, makes the rules.
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05-05-2010 09:30 by mullerman
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I'm pretty damn sure me wife is in the 33% of the married women who claim their pets are better listeners than their husbands - last night I saw the cat desparately going through my draw, may be trying to find my noise cancellation headphones !!!
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05-05-2010 09:28 by SH
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We should handle everything in life like a Dog would... if you can't eat it or play with it then just pee on it and walk away.
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05-05-2010 09:25
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i was so poor growing up if I wasn't a boy I would have nothing to play with!
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05-05-2010 09:25
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when I was younger I thought it was so important that I impress my peers, now that I am older it is amazing how much those people really don't matter.
busy writing a note to self: DO NOT PUNCH IN THE FACE (AGAIN) the dude sitting in the next cubicle no matter how annoying his vacation tale is !!!
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05-05-2010 09:02 by SH
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I'm not shy -- I'm studying my prey.
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05-05-2010 09:00
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I no longer fear hell -- I've worked in Retail.
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05-05-2010 08:59
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people who have pitbulls are cowards who havent got the guts to bite people themselves!
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05-05-2010 08:59
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He who dies with the most toys is, nonetheless, still dead.
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05-05-2010 08:56
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Don't try to outweird me--I get stranger things then you free with my breakfast cereal.
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05-05-2010 08:55
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Today, I went to the movies. When I got out, I saw that someone hit my car but were nice enough to leave a note. It said, "Ouch - that's going to cost you some money." They signed it with a happy face sticking out its tongue
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05-05-2010 08:50
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