SH Funny Status Messages

   wonders why people say "that sucks" for bad things; clearly they haven't had any experience that relates to the second word within quotes

   thinks whoever invented new year resolutions would have sworn every year that he wished he hadn't...

   I'm pretty damn sure me wife is in the 33% of the married women who claim their pets are better listeners than their husbands - last night I saw the cat desparately going through my draw, may be trying to find my noise cancellation headphones !!!

   effective way of getting back at someone is to ask them a yes or no question like this - "Have you stopped putting your head up ur a$$ these days ?"

   how about you jump from cloud 9 to 1, that way you can see my middle finger better !

   says the scariest thing in the world is to know what a cat is thinking when it stares at you

   busy writing a note to self: DO NOT PUNCH IN THE FACE (AGAIN) the dude sitting in the next cubicle no matter how annoying his vacation tale is !!!

   says he is not the only one that yawns with a HE-MAN/Popeye pose at work; every guy does