Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5943 of 6370
Seis De Mayo, Spanish for, Hungover...
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05-06-2010 10:59 by Joser
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just got barred from Home Depot, some idiot in an orange apron came up to me and asked me if I wanted decking, lucky I got the first punch in!!!!
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05-06-2010 10:52
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Bacon is best served with a side of bacon
Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.
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05-06-2010 09:27
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Lord Voldemort is real evil. He turned Cedric Diggory into Edward Cullen.
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05-06-2010 09:00
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With all the infadelities of David Boreanaz, puts a new menaing to his show "Bones". Just waiting for the porn movie to be made.
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05-06-2010 07:32
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wonders if criminals are starting to catch on that there isn't a lot of crime fighting happening during LOST?
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05-06-2010 07:26 by Leeferd
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Relationships are like glass...sometimes its better 2 leave them broken rather than hurting yourself trying 2 put them back together!
C.R.O.W.S = Can't Remember Our Winning Song
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05-06-2010 05:29
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Liquor & poker...or just play cards!!!
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05-06-2010 03:57
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My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
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05-06-2010 03:57 by paulb808
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I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom took away his WII, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own a$$
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05-06-2010 03:18 by paulb808
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closed captions are like reading a book, except this book rocks!
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05-06-2010 02:20
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I play farmville and cafe world on facebook. Does that mean I have to file self employed on my taxes?
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05-06-2010 01:25 by candee
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thinks life ws much easier when Apples & Blackberies were just fruits.
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05-06-2010 00:40 by Snypa
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Loosely translated, Cinco de Mayo means "destroy their livers."
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05-06-2010 00:22
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Who the hell does my cat keep sleeping with to fall pregnant - she's the neighbourhood sharmouta :( I raised a skanky cat !!! *TEARS*
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05-05-2010 23:45
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lets just melt the ice... that will stop the smoke and i'll be on the plane again!!!
If you can't multi-task, why should I. your computer
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05-05-2010 22:26
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If a man appears sexy, caring and smart give him a day or two...he'll be back to his usual self.