Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5934 of 6371
Today's forecast: Insanity with scattered crazies.
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05-10-2010 11:19 by j mart
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37% of Americans agree that while they would hate being British, they wouldn't mind having a British accent....
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05-10-2010 11:12
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Does the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same melody?
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05-10-2010 09:48
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I put the "ass" in passive aggressive. But you'd know that if you ever bothered to pay attention.
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05-10-2010 09:08
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Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant.
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05-10-2010 09:05
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After Arizona's new immigration law, the Phoenix Suns managing partner denounced the new law and said "it was wrong". So, me and 4 friends went to the game without a ticket, and got kicked out. If he liked the law, he should have let us stay.
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05-10-2010 08:15
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It's a matter of finger's lickin' where I'm Lovin' It and you can still Have It Your Way ;)
One should always be in love, this is the reason one should never marry
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05-10-2010 04:55
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probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
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05-10-2010 03:45
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Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?
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05-10-2010 03:44 by vinu
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going to start a dating site for gangsters. bone thugs and e harmony
Lady Gaga looks likes she's been covered in glue and she's just collected crap as she walks past stuff
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05-10-2010 01:18
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We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police
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05-09-2010 23:14 by BEGO
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if a man says to a woman,"Girl, you better go in the kitchen and bring me a sandwich," Do you know what a good comeback for that ladies? You better "comeback" with a God damn sandwich.
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05-09-2010 22:01 by Tracy
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I love how everyone seems to be able to sing on facebook *singing*
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05-09-2010 20:36 by Ikaelelo
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Growing up my mom would take me to the toy store and be so patient as I sat their for a long time trying to make a decision about which toy to buy...thank God she doesn't have to go to the liquor store with me now.
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05-09-2010 19:40 by Gary B
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The tag "in bed" that makes fortune cookies so funny, makes Mother's Day cards creepy. Just sayin' (uncle Bill!).
When I was in kindergarten my teacher told the class to sit Indian style. So I grabbed a bottle of cheap whiskey and laid in gutter
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05-09-2010 17:36
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I used to go out with a homeless girl. It was great because after sex I could just drop her off anywhere
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05-09-2010 17:27
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NOTE TO SELF: Don't forget to NOT to discuss your personal life on FB. And pick up rash cream..........
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05-09-2010 16:41
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