Funny Status Messages

   thinks that everyone has the ability of making someone happy, some by entering the room, others by leaving it.

   A woman knows she's wearing the right dress, when her man wants to take it off.

   if you can't beat them, let them join you. THEN beat them.

   I love the lines the men use to get us into bed. ‘Please, I'll only put it in for a minute.' What am I, a microwave?

   ObamaCare: Prescription for disaster.

   The best way to make an old car run better is to look at the price of a new one.

   I've got a new car, but I only get three miles to the gallon. My teenage son gets the rest!

   Nancy Pelosi quoting bible scripture about dignity and worth of every person.....Thats Classic from a woman that is a voice for abortion.

   lying on lawn, waiting for Google Earth to take a photo of him.

   s(HE) be(LIE)ve(D)

   to let a fool kiss you is stupid, to let a kiss fool you is worse

   drink wisely....DONT spill!

   don't call the RSPCA if your boyfriend sends you the text 'i want to kick your puppy'......he's just using predictive text

   Dear BP, ....Lower your gas prices a good amount and we'll call it even.

   told his Mom she should get on Facebook and she said she's been putting on makeup for 40 years and doesn't need a book to tell her how to do it.

   Skinny jeans is like a cheap motel..... NO BALL ROOM!!!!

   I don't care if you lick windows, take the special bus or occasionally pee on yourself.. You hang in there sunshine, you're friggin' special

   I love you in a "leave me alone" kinda way!

   Troy McClure. You might remember me from such drivers ed films as "Alice's Adventures Through The Windshield Glass" and "The Decapitation of LarryLeadfoot."

   Politicians should serve two terms. One in office, one in prison