Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain.

   Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happend.

   The hardest thing you'll ever do is watch the one you love, love someone else.

   I look at the moon, the moon is beautiful...I look at you.. I.. I... I'd rather look at the moon again.. ;)

   Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. BUT How many of them will own up to where the f*ck they were last night????

   No one understand a bad hair day like I understand a bad hair day, I am currently rockin ruff and stuff with my afro puff!!!

   hates leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

   I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

   having a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

   thinks that everyone has the ability of making someone happy, some by entering the room, others by leaving it.

   A woman knows she's wearing the right dress, when her man wants to take it off.

   if you can't beat them, let them join you. THEN beat them.

   I love the lines the men use to get us into bed. ‘Please, I'll only put it in for a minute.' What am I, a microwave?

   ObamaCare: Prescription for disaster.

   The best way to make an old car run better is to look at the price of a new one.

   I've got a new car, but I only get three miles to the gallon. My teenage son gets the rest!

   Nancy Pelosi quoting bible scripture about dignity and worth of every person.....Thats Classic from a woman that is a voice for abortion.

   lying on lawn, waiting for Google Earth to take a photo of him.

   s(HE) be(LIE)ve(D)

   to let a fool kiss you is stupid, to let a kiss fool you is worse