dear facebook,stop spamming my wall with dating site Ads or am going to change my relationship status from single to married and sue you for temptation.love,me.
Making lunches for my kids I spotted some mold on the block of cheese and was about to throw it away. My mom stopped me and told me to scrape it off. "They won't even notice... just like you never did." Mom is no longer allowed in the kitchen....EVER..!
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vajajay" I knew I was at home.
When you have more moochers and looters (ppl who live off the government) than you do producers (working taxpayers), be prepared for your country to fall!!
Funny, I have a fifth grader and the stuff that he is learning in school is not the stuff that is on "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader". What elementary school do those kids go to?!?
got a leaflet asking to donate clothes for the starving people of the 3rd world......I laughed so hard...if they can fit into my clothes then they are not starving