Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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(̅_̅_̅_̅(̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅̅_̅()ڪے~ ~ Is Bad For Your Health
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05-20-2010 14:49
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Mr. Felipe Calderon, 73% of Americans have a message for you: ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐: ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐
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05-20-2010 14:09
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was told that if I have to ask how much something costs, I probably can't afford it. She was right so I moved along.
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05-20-2010 14:00
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It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts...
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05-20-2010 13:15 by Joser
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My life is based on a true story.
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05-20-2010 12:37 by l33t
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so I finally got rid of all the FB recommended pages and ADs, Woo Hoo. take that FB
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05-20-2010 10:57
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The grass may be greener on the other side, but you'll eventually have to mow it:)
If you must lie about your age, do what I do... tell people you're ninety-seven...they'll think you look freakin great!
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05-20-2010 09:03 by KG
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Does anyone besides me think the new Olympic Mascots resemble sex toys?????
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05-20-2010 07:22 by tanner
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totally against selling babies for beer, but teenagers that's another story.
the only thing more funny then this stupid status update is that your still taking time out of your busy day to read it..
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05-20-2010 06:35
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Some people on this planet are why we don't have a Waffle House on the Moon!
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05-20-2010 04:12
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Trying is the first step toward failure.
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05-20-2010 03:13 by one
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Bingo! I love that game, but I can't remember what to say when you win.
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05-20-2010 03:09 by one
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Watched Justin Beiber preform tonight on Amercan Idol and realized there is one thing worse than eternal hell....being Justin Beiber's background singer!
You've only got three choices in life: Give up, give in, or give it all you've got.
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05-20-2010 00:16
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I've bin so stressed lately I can't wait to get home and "bust a nut" and by "bust a nut" I mean I hope the wife bought pistachios!
If it hadn't been BP it would have been someone else. There are thousands of rigs around the world still pumping away as we speak and I haven't heard anyone mention inspection of their blowout preventers....
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05-20-2010 00:05
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finding a good man is like trying to nail Jello to a tree.
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05-20-2010 00:00
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thinks that if your relationship status says, "It's complicated" that you should stop kidding yourself and change it to "Single"
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05-19-2010 23:55 by RON
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