Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5907 of 6371
I know for a fact that one of my facebook friends are playing with thy self as I write this status..ok who is it???
As of tommorrow, Facebook will creep into your bathroom when you're in the shower and tweak your boobs. To change this option, go to Settings > Personal Settings > Bathroom Settings> Boob Tweakage Settings and uncheck the Shenanigans box.
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05-21-2010 13:34 by Lexicorro
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The Orioles have been so bad for so long that MLB is now requiring them to take performance enhancing drugs
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05-21-2010 12:22 by Mike
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Dear Obama, Just a question… if I somehow am able to sneak into the White House (Illegally)… and I am wearing my normal day to day clothes, looking suspicious... Is it fair to assume that I won't be asked for my crudentials as long as I'm good?
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05-21-2010 12:06
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how am I supposed to look at the glass as half full when I drank all the beer??
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05-21-2010 11:35
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we don't choose who you fall in love with, we can only pray that thay fall in love with us too ♥
When the World calmly tells you, "Give Up" on your struggles to success, You whisper back and say, "Hell...No"
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05-21-2010 11:01 by Danmanz
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☆:*´¨`*twinkle twinkle little star...point me to the nearest bar *´¨`*:.☆ HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!
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05-21-2010 10:45
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Sharting: (verb) when you try to cut the cheese and get the whole nacho dip.
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05-21-2010 10:27 by Leeferd
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loves how Trig Palin is named after a math class he'll never pass.
Childhood obesity is not funny. Ok mabey it is a little, Chubby little kids woddling around.
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05-21-2010 09:58
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Eight deaths in one year at a Chinese phone manufacturing plant? There's an App for that.
Can't stand the automatic bathroom appliances... WTF... I am not done.. Thanks for the generous water ration... Btw, your paper towels are like sand paper
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05-21-2010 07:23
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Crack,meth,heroine. All these drugs should be manufactured by pharmacutical companies. That way,no one could afford them.
Do You Really expect everybody to believe your "in a relationship" with someone who doesn't have facebook? Your fooling no one..
I'm sick of Canadians sneaking across the border and stealing our hockey jobs.
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05-21-2010 02:25 by jdpower
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Sarah Palin thinks US law should be based on the Bible. As the most attractive female in national politics, I think she'd be far more successful doing an arm-in-arm political fashion tour with the most attractive man in Washington, Ann Coulter.
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05-21-2010 02:22 by jdpower
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BP says their latest cleanup technique is called a "Dirty Sanchez." I don't want details.
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05-21-2010 02:17 by jdpower
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Not to scare anyone, but we're only a decade or so away from grandmothers named Amber or Brittany.
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05-21-2010 02:15 by jdpower
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After five minutes of forced conversation, I've just realized that this person sitting across from me is not, in fact, Tony Danza
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05-21-2010 02:11 by jdpower
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