Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5880 of 6370
Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?
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06-02-2010 21:01 by BEGO
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After Al Gore gets divorced, his wife will receive 40 percent of his ego, his ignorance, and the Internet.
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06-02-2010 20:09 by tomcall
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there are two types of people in this world, pizza roll people and bagel bites people
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06-02-2010 19:48 by Joser
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Facebook is doing maintenance on my account. I hope that means they're airbrushing my profile pics!
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06-02-2010 19:48 by Joser
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Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I die before I wake. Then this will be my last status update
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06-02-2010 19:42 by Grapes
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I'd be more willing to cuddle with my Wife after sex if she'd be more willing to high-five after sex.
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06-02-2010 19:03
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I'd be more willing to cuddle with my Wife after sex if she'd be more willing to high-five after sex.
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06-02-2010 19:02
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can not believe Google.com banned the word 'gullible' from being entered in the search field!
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06-02-2010 17:51 by MikeM
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today I : 1. asked old people for directions and deliberately walked the opposite way... 2. asked very obese people which gym they used...
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06-02-2010 16:57 by Joser
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Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
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06-02-2010 15:45
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Actual Headline: Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
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06-02-2010 15:43
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Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
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06-02-2010 15:42
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House Guarded By Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.
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06-02-2010 15:41 by CJ
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I skinned my elbow on the headboard while making the bed. Does this mean I am dangerous in bed?
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06-02-2010 15:41 by byteme
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all for the "going green" thing, but she just can't bring herself to buy toilet paper that says, "100% Recycled."
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06-02-2010 15:40
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thinks we will soon know if Al Gore still believes in cap and trade after divorce redistributes HIS wealth
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06-02-2010 15:07
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blames Al and Tippers divorce on all of those hung Chads...
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06-02-2010 15:06
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rumor is that Tipper Gore is suing for half the Internet.
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06-02-2010 14:51
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what do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? full
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06-02-2010 14:34
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On a walk, my stepdaughter saw a pay phone, asked what it was. I made him look it up on his Blackberry.
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06-02-2010 14:17 by Joser
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