Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
←Rate | 07-31-2009 15:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
←Rate | 07-31-2009 15:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This isn't an office-It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
←Rate | 07-31-2009 15:29 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
←Rate | 07-31-2009 15:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes.
←Rate | 07-31-2009 15:27 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
←Rate | 07-31-2009 15:26 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do I look like a freakin' people person?
←Rate | 07-31-2009 15:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon might be schizophrenic; but at least I'll always have each other
←Rate | 07-31-2009 12:28 by Mike | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saving alot on my car insurance by deciding to drive without it...
←Rate | 07-31-2009 10:23 by James Isaacs | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
←Rate | 07-31-2009 07:55 by Wanyoike | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon gonna pay tribute to the recently deceased Michael Jackson and "beat it " before he goes to sleep.
←Rate | 07-30-2009 22:37 by Frank Petitto | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon like ice cream. smooth, cool, and goes down easy.
←Rate | 07-30-2009 21:37 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon starting to get nervous about Y3K
←Rate | 07-30-2009 21:30 by matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon out for a morning ride.. on my pet giraffe
←Rate | 07-30-2009 19:13 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon started taking Gingko Biloba pills to improve his Memory...but, he keeps forgetting to take them!
←Rate | 07-30-2009 16:15 by Vitamin N Comments (0)  


   messageicon learned a lot about relationships from Super Mario Bros.....sometimes, You have to pound a few Dragons to get to the Princess
←Rate | 07-30-2009 16:09 by Vitamin N Comments (0)  


   messageicon It takes 2 to Tango, but a whole bunch of people to do the Electric Slide.
←Rate | 07-30-2009 16:06 by Vito | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon can single-handedly make all your dreams come true...or I could use two hands.
←Rate | 07-30-2009 15:57 by Vito | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon just found out the difference between kinky and erotic..erotic was the use of the feather..kinky was the whole damn chicken
←Rate | 07-30-2009 14:28 by paul barnes Comments (0)  


   messageicon like Doug's friends Skeeter whenever I meet her cuz I skeet her so hard people call her Patty Mayonnaise!
←Rate | 07-30-2009 13:57 by Fat Alec | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


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