Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon just smoked crack for the first time and I can confirm that it is NOT addicti.....uh oh
←Rate | 08-09-2009 10:41 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks its OK to beat up an old lady, if its at Costcutters, or if she really had it coming.
←Rate | 08-09-2009 04:31 by deithy | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Those Who Can They Do, Those Who Can't They Teach."
←Rate | 08-08-2009 22:40 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs.
←Rate | 08-08-2009 22:31 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon X says REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON
←Rate | 08-08-2009 21:36 by maria | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon cloning himself into 3 clones: 1- for work 2- for family 3-to manage 1&2
←Rate | 08-08-2009 16:05 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon wants a case of beer so I can get messed up just like the economy
←Rate | 08-08-2009 13:52 by pichay | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why does he get to stand up? If he stands up, we'll all stand up...It'll be anarchy!!!
←Rate | 08-08-2009 13:49 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon That's very clever, sir. But what if there's a fire? I think violating fire codes and endangering the lives of children would be unwise at this juncture in your career, sir.
←Rate | 08-08-2009 13:48 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's my birthday and I'll lie if I want to.
←Rate | 08-08-2009 12:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wants to poke you (and not one of those irritating facebook poke either)
←Rate | 08-07-2009 13:55 by deithy | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon : If Blind people wear Dark Glasses...why don't Deaf people wear Earmuffs?
←Rate | 08-07-2009 11:49 by Vitamin N Comments (0)  


   messageicon THE LORENA BOBBITT VIRUS... (Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch
←Rate | 08-07-2009 11:42 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders...If 7-11 is open 24hrs a Day, 365 Days a year......Why are there locks on the door?
←Rate | 08-07-2009 11:41 by Vitamin N Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bloody speed cameras are a complete con. Not only do the photos take about five weeks to arrive, but they cost £75 a picture.
←Rate | 08-07-2009 10:43 by roon Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the Americans can't find Osama Bin Laden, they should stop looking, sit down with a cup of tea and try to think where they saw him last. This always works when I can't find my car keys or the wifes hairbrush.
←Rate | 08-07-2009 10:39 by roon | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon campaigning early... 'Anyone Else 2012'
←Rate | 08-07-2009 08:43 by jennifer Comments (0)  


   messageicon shampooing the lawn and mowing the carpet
←Rate | 08-07-2009 08:11 by alex | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon her hair is messed up, pants un zipped alien must have had a ruff night
←Rate | 08-07-2009 08:05 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon livin the chuffin dream baby. Just turned up to work with no trousers on.
←Rate | 08-07-2009 07:13 by ritchie_bonk | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  




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