Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon as cool as a beeper was in '94!
←Rate | 08-19-2009 08:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon dressed as a parking attendent at the zoo, 300 spots at $5 a pop is $1500 for a days work
←Rate | 08-19-2009 05:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that Lightning is just God taking pictures of us
←Rate | 08-19-2009 00:42 by Vito | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon getting ready to start working on x plan for world domination as soon as x can figure out how to open the child proof cap on this dang bottle of asprin!
←Rate | 08-18-2009 23:52 by mikellyons | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon taking his own poll. Which would you prefer? A cough that sounds like bagpipes or a fart that sounds like a rapid-fire machine gun?
←Rate | 08-18-2009 23:46 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon has a funny feeling they don't sell protractors or standard deviation calculators at his local "doller stoor".
←Rate | 08-18-2009 23:44 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon just not the same since that house fell on my sister
←Rate | 08-18-2009 23:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon who decided that paper beats rock? Next time I hear someone say that I want them to hold up a sheet of paper and let me throw a rock at them
←Rate | 08-18-2009 22:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Barack Obama has 6.5 MILLION Fans on Facebook...how many hunters can we find??
←Rate | 08-18-2009 20:55 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon who decided that a round pizza should be put in a square box..... had to be a female......
←Rate | 08-18-2009 20:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon An elaphant is a mouse drawn to government specifacations.
←Rate | 08-18-2009 20:26 by Aymie | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon In small towns like this you might as well live it up, cause you sure as hell won't be living anything down
←Rate | 08-18-2009 18:14 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just when you thought you had it all, it all falls apart
←Rate | 08-18-2009 13:55 by z | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon the best has yet to come...
←Rate | 08-18-2009 12:27 by Mike | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious!
←Rate | 08-18-2009 11:50 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that by the time we finally figure life out the alzheimers kicks in and we forget it all...
←Rate | 08-18-2009 11:47 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Talk to people about themselves, and they will listen for hours. Talk to people about yourself, and they will tell you who gives a s**t ??
←Rate | 08-18-2009 10:25 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon trying to fill in the blank........
←Rate | 08-18-2009 09:09 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon cant help but wonder when they'll start making porn in 3D, since that seems to be the new fad with movies.
←Rate | 08-18-2009 02:31 by Trevor Hall | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering if vegetarians eat animal crackers?
←Rate | 08-18-2009 01:10 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  




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