Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I'm on a drinking team with a drinking problem.
←Rate | 08-10-2009 11:18 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
←Rate | 08-10-2009 11:18 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to lose weight....eat stuff you hate !!
←Rate | 08-10-2009 11:17 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon knows you are reading his/her facebook status right now...
←Rate | 08-10-2009 10:19 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon spending to much time thinking about what this status should be
←Rate | 08-10-2009 08:20 by Cheyanne | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon tell a grown up if someone touches you the wrong way. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle...(sings) G.I. Joe!
←Rate | 08-10-2009 08:16 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon decided when he eventually becomes a dad that he's going to name his first child Ladyboy Bumcrack Von Failface.
←Rate | 08-10-2009 06:37 by Meh. | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon says two fools make a moron, two morons make an imbecile, two imbeciles make an idiot and two idiots make a marriage.
←Rate | 08-10-2009 03:30 by pz Comments (0)  


   messageicon naked in the shower
←Rate | 08-10-2009 02:25 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon hey you yesss you... you look better with my cum on your face ;)
←Rate | 08-10-2009 02:22 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon was thinking about a romantic night, A stale bottle of chocolate body paint, and a kinky french poodle, Partytime! But unfortunately I am stuck here at work...
←Rate | 08-09-2009 19:56 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Seein' right through you like you're bathing in Windex
←Rate | 08-09-2009 19:36 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that it would be wise for you to stop touching the "S" button.
←Rate | 08-09-2009 17:23 by Ricky Cranford | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon was thrown out of a casino for misunderstanding the use of a crap table.
←Rate | 08-09-2009 16:42 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon out clubbing this weekend. I'm going to beat my record of 12 baby seals
←Rate | 08-09-2009 16:41 by Tim | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon fried, died, and layed to the side.
←Rate | 08-09-2009 16:39 by Tim | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon running with scissors and eating paste
←Rate | 08-09-2009 15:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ready to party today with grilled food and family (actually, we're only grilling the food).
←Rate | 08-09-2009 13:46 by Tim Gebhart | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon golfing tomorrow, that will NOT help my stress!
←Rate | 08-09-2009 13:45 by Tim Gebhart | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon drinking coffee so I can do stupid things faster and with more energy.
←Rate | 08-09-2009 13:43 by Tim Gebhart | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


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