Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon having mid-golf crises.
←Rate | 09-24-2009 20:07 by willybear | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering..If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change their name to Knockers?
←Rate | 09-24-2009 16:46 by haha | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Laugh…and the world laughs with you. Laugh hysterically, for no apparent reason, and they'll leave you alone.
←Rate | 09-24-2009 13:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hang on a sec, I'm about this close to getting the hi-score on Donkey Kong!!
←Rate | 09-24-2009 11:54 by Taj Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not asleep, I'm checking my eyelids for holes
←Rate | 09-24-2009 10:48 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon wants to know whats up with girls and big-ass sunglasses. You don't pollinate flowering plants.
←Rate | 09-24-2009 09:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you think about it, the United Nations is the world's HOA.
←Rate | 09-24-2009 09:50 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon just got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with... "according to the prophecy"
←Rate | 09-24-2009 05:22 by Ace Comments (0)  


   messageicon the problem with being punctual is that there is rarely anyone there to appreciate it
←Rate | 09-24-2009 05:21 by Ace Comments (0)  


   messageicon This weekends forecast... Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out
←Rate | 09-24-2009 03:24 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity.
←Rate | 09-24-2009 02:02 by krishna thadeshwar | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon you say tomato I say get out of my bedroom.
←Rate | 09-24-2009 01:09 by LB | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering if practice makes perfect and no one is perfect, then why practice?
←Rate | 09-23-2009 23:58 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon just watched a video on youtube called 3-minute abs. I worked out for 3 minutes but my abs look the same…what a ripoff!
←Rate | 09-23-2009 22:31 by Brad R | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I cant understand why constipated people dont give a crap
←Rate | 09-23-2009 22:31 by Brad R | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tomorrow I will be way more productive than I was today...my goal is to kill 2 rocks with 1 bird. So much to do....so little time
←Rate | 09-23-2009 22:31 by Brad R | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon watching Mad Men and thinking the term "AMC Originals" is an oxymoron.
←Rate | 09-23-2009 18:28 by Nick | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon freedom of speech is a figure of speech
←Rate | 09-23-2009 16:59 by Ashden Ras | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Good News: Ted Kennedy is 3 weeks sober!
←Rate | 09-23-2009 16:06 by 5124x0r | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Kanye can steal the mic...can Taylor really be called Swift?
←Rate | 09-23-2009 15:51 by Randizzle | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  




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