Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump

Search Messages:
Page: 5808 of 5984

   messageicon : Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
←Rate | 11-01-2009 15:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon : One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
←Rate | 11-01-2009 15:56 by zee Comments (0)  

   messageicon ..wonders why is there a man in the bottom corner of her TV playing charades?
←Rate | 11-01-2009 15:31 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon GREAT! Only 7 more days left of viewing pictures of kids dressed as beggars!
←Rate | 11-01-2009 12:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon yay! ive got mail! yay! do you got mail?! ive got mail! yay!
←Rate | 11-01-2009 12:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Live like a kindergartener, you dont have to have the coolest clothes or hottest girlfriend you just have to have the biggest box of crayons
←Rate | 11-01-2009 12:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
←Rate | 11-01-2009 10:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering why no matter how hard you pinch the skin on your elbow, it doesnt hurt. I know your trying it now arent you?
←Rate | 11-01-2009 10:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know times are tough when you go trick or treating and a guy is handing out his resume
←Rate | 11-01-2009 09:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon OK Apparntely it's "Illeagal" to cover yourself with blue body paint and put on a pair of smiley face boxers and walk around Walmart claiming to be a giant bag on Halloween!
←Rate | 10-31-2009 22:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon 8 beers have been taken by parents in my annual Trick or Beer giveaway. The walking parents are thirsty, and appreciative, tonight!
←Rate | 10-31-2009 19:39 by PennBall Comments (0)  

   messageicon if you are 17, and still dressing up and coming to my house for Halloween, you sure as hell better say "Trick or Treat" and "Thank You" like the little kids do.
←Rate | 10-31-2009 19:37 by Jeff Comments (0)  

   messageicon loves the Snooze button on his alarm clock because there is nothing like starting out your day with a little procrastination
←Rate | 10-31-2009 19:34 by whitecube387 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wonders if the person that keeps using the N word realizes its not color orientated. Sounds like he could be one himself!
←Rate | 10-31-2009 17:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon forgot to pick up candy so it looks like I'll be passing out old VHS tapes, colored socks, #2 pencils, some paper clips, and a pack of tighty wities.
←Rate | 10-31-2009 16:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon so who has actually used trigonometry since they left school?
←Rate | 10-31-2009 16:05 by Kal-El Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.
←Rate | 10-31-2009 15:30 by baldweezy Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks copy and paste is the greatest invention ever thinks copy and paste is the greatest invention ever thinks copy and paste is the greatest...
←Rate | 10-31-2009 14:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Alarm Clock(n): An evil device invented by Satan to disrupt the peaceful sleep of otherwise happy folks at a predetermined hour.
←Rate | 10-31-2009 14:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ™ is a registered trademark. All unauthorized reproduction and distribution will lead to prosecution.
←Rate | 10-31-2009 14:51 Comments (0)  

Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left