Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon making his stand at Thermopylae.
←Rate | 08-26-2009 08:22 by Peebs | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon standing outside your heart...please let me in...=(
←Rate | 08-26-2009 02:18 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Over dramatic people make me want to go on grand theft auto style rampages
←Rate | 08-26-2009 01:58 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon caught the creepy crotch cridders
←Rate | 08-25-2009 23:24 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon going to make this day interesting by playing with matches and running with scissors out in traffic...
←Rate | 08-25-2009 20:50 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking women should come with a carfax
←Rate | 08-25-2009 20:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Welcome, you have no mail, but you have 200 spam messages from yours truly"
←Rate | 08-25-2009 18:56 by Atnow24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
←Rate | 08-25-2009 17:10 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Behind every successful man is a surprised woman
←Rate | 08-25-2009 17:08 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway
←Rate | 08-25-2009 17:06 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon dreamd last night that he is perfect. Than he woke up and realized that s reality
←Rate | 08-25-2009 15:17 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon throwing away his rollover minutes because they're a month old.
←Rate | 08-25-2009 15:11 by Edward M | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?
←Rate | 08-25-2009 14:53 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon just gotten an email stating that I had won the Nigerian lottery! I just left the post office to send off my 1500 dollar processing fee and I'll be on a beach in the Bahama's in no time, SUCKAS!
←Rate | 08-25-2009 13:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon she is too tired to be clever for her status.
←Rate | 08-25-2009 12:57 by Kristy Lynn Comments (0)  


   messageicon I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
←Rate | 08-25-2009 11:35 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon forget peace give squirels a chance
←Rate | 08-25-2009 08:53 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon just not that into you, Monday
←Rate | 08-25-2009 07:45 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon working for the weekend
←Rate | 08-25-2009 07:45 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do me for tena
←Rate | 08-24-2009 18:41 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


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