Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon in the studio with Chris Brown making new 'beats' for his album.
←Rate | 08-28-2009 10:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks auto-erotica is porn for AutoBots...
←Rate | 08-28-2009 09:45 by Peebs | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon When you check out, if spent shell casings aren't littered around your feet, you didn't check out right.
←Rate | 08-28-2009 07:00 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Real Men of Genius.Today we salute you Mr.Compulsive Status Update Checker.People are out actually having fun, your stuck reading about it on a screen. One click instant "mafia and farmville" updates to live vicariously through, friends you... haven't see
←Rate | 08-28-2009 05:56 by matt h Comments (0)  

   messageicon handling guns in the hunting department...and asking the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are
←Rate | 08-28-2009 05:10 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon darted around the aisle suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible. just finished watching the movie and couldn't get the tune out of my head. Plus I had about 4 Red Bulls. Too bad for you!
←Rate | 08-28-2009 05:08 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon counting the number of friends who remind him that it's Friday.
←Rate | 08-28-2009 04:40 Comments (0)  

←Rate | 08-28-2009 04:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon out of order until further notice...apologize for the inconvenience!
←Rate | 08-28-2009 04:09 by MJ | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
←Rate | 08-28-2009 03:43 by Jester | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon There's a fine line between excited and obnoxious. I call that line Richard Simmons.
←Rate | 08-28-2009 02:46 by Jester | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon kissed a girl and I liked it. She, on the other hand; filed a restraining order.
←Rate | 08-27-2009 18:40 by Peebs Comments (0)  

   messageicon anti-obama before it was cool
←Rate | 08-27-2009 13:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon for the next 20 minutes the universe revolves around me. Everybody else should step aside. TIA
←Rate | 08-27-2009 13:29 by Jamie | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon revenge is a dish best served with fava beans and chianti
←Rate | 08-27-2009 11:16 by Green Lantern | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon WARNING: GIVEADAMN.exe failed to load. Operation aborted.
←Rate | 08-27-2009 11:12 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon went to Facebook and all I got was this stupid status message.
←Rate | 08-27-2009 09:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon your guiding light because as the world turns we are the young and the restless with only have one life to live throughout the days of our lives because all my children will be born at general hospital.
←Rate | 08-27-2009 08:37 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon I bought a cabin on a lake.... but there are signs all over my side of the lake saying "NO WAKE ZONE"...... now I am afraid to go to sleep.
←Rate | 08-27-2009 04:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon just finished his studies as in an Analyst and Therapist, and is not a fully qualifies Analrapist
←Rate | 08-27-2009 02:16 by Alec | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

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