Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon a date with 2 Girls from 1 Cup
←Rate | 05-18-2009 01:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon running around robbing banks all wacked on the scooby snacks..!!
←Rate | 05-17-2009 21:06 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I was a kid I used to trick the tooth fairy with kidney stones
←Rate | 05-17-2009 15:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Something you never hear in the news: "200 killed today when Atheist rebels took heavy shelling from the Agnostic stronghold in the North."
←Rate | 05-17-2009 15:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Shouldn't the fortune in every fortune cookie be "You are about to eat a stale cookie?"
←Rate | 05-17-2009 15:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon text from a female: "Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless."
←Rate | 05-17-2009 15:41 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Tough decisions... Beat off in the shower and waste water or use Kleenex and add to landfill? What can I say? I love Mother Earth and big titties
←Rate | 05-17-2009 15:40 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon The best part of you ran down your mothers leg
←Rate | 05-17-2009 15:10 by Darren | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon found Nemo. (Reminder: you have to hold the handle until it's done flushing...)
←Rate | 05-17-2009 14:33 by Peebs | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Resembles the resemblance of reality.
←Rate | 05-17-2009 14:29 by Peebs | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not hanging around with Damon The Infidel
←Rate | 05-17-2009 07:48 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon going to drink wet cement and get really stoned.
←Rate | 05-17-2009 01:54 by Ryan S. Comments (0)  

   messageicon never killed a man that didn't need killing.
←Rate | 05-16-2009 23:40 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.
←Rate | 05-16-2009 19:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A much wittier reply came to mind immediately after I clicked the 'Share' button.
←Rate | 05-16-2009 19:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon watching the news and hearing all the uproar about Gay Marriages and Gay Weddings., classical music, people dancing to the Village People and Sister Sledge...Aren't all weddings Gay?
←Rate | 05-16-2009 17:04 by Vybe | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon took the "What should you be doing right now" quiz. And the answer is... WORK !
←Rate | 05-15-2009 17:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
←Rate | 05-15-2009 17:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon was always taught, "You become what you eat." So he only eat rich foods. He's still waiting...
←Rate | 05-15-2009 17:10 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon sippin on some sizzurp...feeling gangsta!!
←Rate | 05-15-2009 15:21 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

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