Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon It is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." I'm talking to you Twi-hards & Beliebers.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 18:57 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't take compliments well. Or criticism. You know what, just don't talk to me.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 18:56 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon After all these years, I'm surprised nobody at CSI has found the light switch in their office.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 18:56 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon How is lindsay lohan ever gonna find a good woman when she is jail? wait....... this might just work out.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 18:56 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do people reply to me in other languages? I don't know wtf you're saying. I only speak three languages: English, Parseltounge
←Rate | 07-08-2010 18:52 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon heavy in the game like fatman scoop, plus I got a flow tighter than a batman suit
←Rate | 07-08-2010 18:51 by mcb Comments (0)  


   messageicon just had someone have a go at her for deleting them from her facebook.Whilst I know it is a childish thing to do I can't help thinking "I don't give A TINY RATS ARSE that is WHY I DELETED YOUh
←Rate | 07-08-2010 18:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So excited: my DVD collection of "Hoarders" is almost complete! And on VHS! Also on Blu-ray and 8mm film. And LaserDisc. Where is my cat?
←Rate | 07-08-2010 17:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon my dog is the best at playing dead....he's been doing it for six weeks. he's good.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 17:34 by derek Comments (0)  


   messageicon says I will reveal a new status update tonight @ 9pm (CST)....... Sorry Lebron James for taking the spotlight from your announcement at the same time on ESPN....
←Rate | 07-08-2010 17:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon really getting sick of all these so-called "Twilight" Rip-off shows or shows that had the vampire idea but realised it after the series. How's come when "Avatar" came out. they didn't bring back the Smurfs?"
←Rate | 07-08-2010 17:23 by Dylan Bosch Comments (5)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: LeBron James chooses DirecTV over Comcast and Dish Network.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 17:08 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite meetings are the ones about the important deadline for work I could be done with if I wasn't in a meeting.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 17:08 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's an update available for my Vuvuzela app on my phone. I bet now, rather than making a noise, it just says "You"re a douchebag!"
←Rate | 07-08-2010 17:05 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do people reply to me in other languages? I don't know wtf you're saying. I only speak three languages: English, Parseltounge
←Rate | 07-08-2010 17:05 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would like to see a tax on every word that come out of the mouth of politicians. That should balance the budget in a day or two.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 16:53 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tonight right before LeBron makes his announcement, Kayne West is going to jump on stage, grab the mic, and say "LeBron, LeBron.. You're a great ball player, but Michael Jordan is the best of all time." Then jump off stage.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 16:50 by KingTut Comments (0)  


   messageicon How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
←Rate | 07-08-2010 16:39 Comments (1)  


   messageicon got so bored that I decided to take a crap for no reason
←Rate | 07-08-2010 16:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon its so hot, I just saw a bird blow a worm before it ate it
←Rate | 07-08-2010 16:03 Comments (0)  




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