Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon thinking if things get any worse will have to shag that sheep over there
←Rate | 09-01-2009 16:40 by Kat | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Friday, You and your friends Saturday and Sunday need to come around more often. I miss you. Love from your biggest fan, me.
←Rate | 09-01-2009 16:35 by Scott | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon with mr bean causing all sorts of tomfoolery
←Rate | 09-01-2009 16:34 by Is with mr bean causing all sorts of tomfoolery | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon an amateur geinocologist
←Rate | 09-01-2009 16:05 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon First day of Pre-School & I was chasing fat kids with a salad
←Rate | 09-01-2009 15:00 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders if you know how to tell a real cowboy from a fake one in the kitchen? The real cowboy would be on the range.
←Rate | 09-01-2009 13:11 by Ron | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon After I cook the vegetables, what do I do with the wheelchairs?
←Rate | 09-01-2009 11:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!
←Rate | 09-01-2009 11:45 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tell me now before I blow twenty bucks on drinks.
←Rate | 09-01-2009 11:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
←Rate | 09-01-2009 11:43 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
←Rate | 09-01-2009 11:41 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat.
←Rate | 09-01-2009 11:39 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon asked 5 girls out on a date and 6 rejected him (the 6th one was passing by and told him "Don't even think about asking me out")! *sigh*
←Rate | 09-01-2009 09:35 by snipercyprus | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders what would happen if someone fell down the stairs while leaving an injury lawyers office..
←Rate | 09-01-2009 09:20 by Yaj | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon After Mondays & Tuesdays, even the week says W,T,F...!!
←Rate | 09-01-2009 07:22 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon will stop procrastinating next week
←Rate | 08-31-2009 22:40 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon a psychic midget who escaped from prison... which makes him a Small Medium at Large
←Rate | 08-31-2009 17:25 by antnkrlz | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon trying to jump over his feets
←Rate | 08-31-2009 16:40 by Peter Jensen | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders Why is it ok for a Gay man to change in a Men's Locker Room but, it's Not ok for a Straight man to change in a Women's Locker Room?
←Rate | 08-31-2009 15:35 by Vitamin N | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never buy anything from a man who is out of breath...
←Rate | 08-31-2009 14:47 by Snypa | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


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