Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon waiting under your bed....
←Rate | 05-27-2009 00:24 by Creepy Guy | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon in your closet, watching you sleep....
←Rate | 05-27-2009 00:21 by Creepy Guy | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon walking his/her gerbil around the block. This could take a while (small legs you know)
←Rate | 05-26-2009 20:01 by Hannah Jo | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon leting his eye lashes hug each other for few hours.
←Rate | 05-26-2009 01:58 by Tyler Comments (0)  

   messageicon offline will be right back before you pronounce cattneuvmment bafatdye zsaasssdhgne
←Rate | 05-26-2009 01:32 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon slept with the extended network
←Rate | 05-26-2009 00:59 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon happy that the Statute of Limitations has finally expired, and he can finally admit that he is, in fact, the one who let the dogs out.
←Rate | 05-25-2009 22:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Girls are like butterfly; they land on your hand if you open it for them. they fly away if you chase them.
←Rate | 05-25-2009 21:28 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon doing the Helen Keller and talking with her hips.
←Rate | 05-25-2009 15:36 by sugaRush Comments (0)  

   messageicon single...and you're going to have to be freakin' awesome to change that!!
←Rate | 05-25-2009 15:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Everything in life is temporary, the happiness and the sorrows, so live your life to the fullest everyday.
←Rate | 05-25-2009 15:06 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon There is always time for everything we want to do in life.
←Rate | 05-25-2009 15:06 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon such a thrill seeker. when I see "caution wet floor" signs, I speed up.
←Rate | 05-25-2009 13:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon waited patiently in line for 'free willy', only to discover it was a film!
←Rate | 05-25-2009 13:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon how do you know that a man has a high sperm count? have to chew before you can swallow.
←Rate | 05-25-2009 11:26 by pinkie | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon ... This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting...
←Rate | 05-25-2009 11:20 by Tenacious Comments (0)  

   messageicon handing out sence of humor transplants and you guys are first in line
←Rate | 05-25-2009 11:19 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
←Rate | 05-25-2009 11:18 by Tenacious Comments (0)  

   messageicon ...They called it 'PMS' because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken....
←Rate | 05-25-2009 11:15 by Tenacious Comments (0)  

   messageicon ...Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines...
←Rate | 05-25-2009 11:14 by Tenacious Comments (0)  

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