Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5786 of 6367
It is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." I'm talking to you Twi-hards & Beliebers.
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07-08-2010 18:57 by Joser
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I don't take compliments well. Or criticism. You know what, just don't talk to me.
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07-08-2010 18:56 by Joser
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After all these years, I'm surprised nobody at CSI has found the light switch in their office.
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07-08-2010 18:56 by Joser
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How is lindsay lohan ever gonna find a good woman when she is jail? wait....... this might just work out.
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07-08-2010 18:56 by Joser
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Why do people reply to me in other languages? I don't know wtf you're saying. I only speak three languages: English, Parseltounge
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07-08-2010 18:52 by Joser
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heavy in the game like fatman scoop, plus I got a flow tighter than a batman suit
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07-08-2010 18:51 by mcb
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just had someone have a go at her for deleting them from her facebook.Whilst I know it is a childish thing to do I can't help thinking "I don't give A TINY RATS ARSE that is WHY I DELETED YOUh
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07-08-2010 18:02
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So excited: my DVD collection of "Hoarders" is almost complete! And on VHS! Also on Blu-ray and 8mm film. And LaserDisc. Where is my cat?
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07-08-2010 17:39 by Joser
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my dog is the best at playing dead....he's been doing it for six weeks. he's good.
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07-08-2010 17:34 by derek
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says I will reveal a new status update tonight @ 9pm (CST)....... Sorry Lebron James for taking the spotlight from your announcement at the same time on ESPN....
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07-08-2010 17:27
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really getting sick of all these so-called "Twilight" Rip-off shows or shows that had the vampire idea but realised it after the series. How's come when "Avatar" came out. they didn't bring back the Smurfs?"
BREAKING NEWS: LeBron James chooses DirecTV over Comcast and Dish Network.
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07-08-2010 17:08 by Joser
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My favorite meetings are the ones about the important deadline for work I could be done with if I wasn't in a meeting.
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07-08-2010 17:08 by Joser
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There's an update available for my Vuvuzela app on my phone. I bet now, rather than making a noise, it just says "You"re a douchebag!"
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07-08-2010 17:05 by Joser
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Why do people reply to me in other languages? I don't know wtf you're saying. I only speak three languages: English, Parseltounge
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07-08-2010 17:05 by Joser
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I would like to see a tax on every word that come out of the mouth of politicians. That should balance the budget in a day or two.
Tonight right before LeBron makes his announcement, Kayne West is going to jump on stage, grab the mic, and say "LeBron, LeBron.. You're a great ball player, but Michael Jordan is the best of all time." Then jump off stage.
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07-08-2010 16:50 by KingTut
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How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
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07-08-2010 16:39
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got so bored that I decided to take a crap for no reason
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07-08-2010 16:03
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its so hot, I just saw a bird blow a worm before it ate it
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07-08-2010 16:03
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