Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Message to NFL Players taking a knee....It is easy to take liberty for granted, when you have never had it taken from you.
←Rate | 11-11-2017 15:44 Comments (1)  

   messageicon "Why would I want to thank a Vet when he cut my balls off?" -The Dog
←Rate | 11-11-2017 18:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Jaws 3-D (1983): shark with no connection or knowledge of either of the first 2 sharks avenges their deaths, wearing 3-D glasses.
←Rate | 11-12-2017 01:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I’m just here for the unsolicited parenting and relationship advice.
←Rate | 11-12-2017 01:31 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  

   messageicon For the record, people don't get arrested and indicted on "no evidence" but continue on with your delusions.
←Rate | 11-12-2017 16:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A russian young lady of fassion had oodles and oodles of passion to her lovers she said as the climb into bed here's one thing those commies can't ration
←Rate | 11-12-2017 22:21 by Limerick Comments (1)  

   messageicon How is Monday the 13th not as scary as Friday the 13th?!
←Rate | 11-13-2017 01:56 by Cowden Comments (0)  

   messageicon A good example of mixed emotions would be finding a hundred dollar bill nailed to your tire.
←Rate | 11-13-2017 01:58 by Cowden Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't know why I ever joined Facebook, I mean like seriously, this is the worst dating website ever!
←Rate | 11-13-2017 02:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I love how sharks swim around with their fins out like they want high fives, but then they're like, Screw you! ...and they eat your face off.
←Rate | 11-13-2017 03:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mexican word of the day: Nacho, Hillary Clinton is Nacho President!
←Rate | 11-13-2017 04:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sociopath: The Sociopath will always accuse you of doing the very thing that they are Guilty of. They do this to deflect attention from themselves.
←Rate | 11-13-2017 04:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Democrats don’t like to address mental illness after a mass shooting because they don’t want to alienate their base.
←Rate | 11-13-2017 04:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Hero who shot the Texas church shooter was a NRA Certified Instructor armed with an AR15.
←Rate | 11-13-2017 04:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.
←Rate | 11-13-2017 04:40 Comments (1)  

   messageicon My grocery list is just a piece of paper saying ~ don't run into anyone you know.
←Rate | 11-13-2017 05:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't need anger management. I need for people to stop pissing me off.
←Rate | 11-13-2017 07:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I lived through Obama. You'll live through Trump.
←Rate | 11-13-2017 08:40 Comments (2)  

   messageicon A friend is typing..........A friend is typing.........A friend is typing..........A friend is typing..........A friend is typing.......A friend is typing.........A friend is typing........A friend is typing...........A friend is typing......... Hey!
←Rate | 11-13-2017 10:53 Comments (1)  

   messageicon My mechanic couldnt fix my breaks so he put in a louder horn.
←Rate | 11-13-2017 12:55 by Chencho Comments (1)  

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