Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect -and I don't live to be- but before you start pointing fingers...make sure you hands are clean!
←Rate | 10-20-2009 23:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear
←Rate | 10-20-2009 21:35 by Ashden Ras Comments (0)  

   messageicon When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy.
←Rate | 10-20-2009 21:32 by Ashden Ras Comments (0)  

   messageicon sick of people saying "im so sick I feel like ive been hit by a truck" well, I have a truck if they really want to know the feeling! :)
←Rate | 10-20-2009 20:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering why there are Interstate highways in Hawaii?
←Rate | 10-20-2009 20:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wonders if the local Palm Reader that went out of business saw it coming?
←Rate | 10-20-2009 20:18 by Piney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes you have to be completely torn down before you can be rebuilt.
←Rate | 10-20-2009 19:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon At the peak of the storm, the shallowness of the root structure is revealed.
←Rate | 10-20-2009 19:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Forgiveness = revenge completed!
←Rate | 10-20-2009 19:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon if you dont like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk!
←Rate | 10-20-2009 18:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering if he can grow weed on farmville and sell it on mafia wars........Moscow....
←Rate | 10-20-2009 18:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ___________________/\_____________\0/_______'' Help Shark''
←Rate | 10-20-2009 15:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Wife says I'm too Immature, and if I don't Grow Up it's going to erect a barrier between us .....Hee Hee Hee....Erect
←Rate | 10-20-2009 12:56 by Vitamin N Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sick of all the iPhone ads? There's an app for that.
←Rate | 10-20-2009 08:56 by @Felesar Comments (0)  

   messageicon iAm so tired of hearing about stupid iPhone apps...
←Rate | 10-20-2009 08:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon pre drinking for new years
←Rate | 10-20-2009 08:23 by anthony69 Comments (0)  

   messageicon the journey of one thousand miles begins with a single cup of coffee
←Rate | 10-20-2009 08:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon has an app for that.
←Rate | 10-20-2009 07:33 by mark1965 Comments (0)  

   messageicon poor life decisions on your part, does not constant an emergancy on my part.
←Rate | 10-20-2009 06:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon rejected to be the 5th Ninja Turtle.
←Rate | 10-20-2009 02:26 by toddofwar Comments (0)  

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