Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon thinks DJ AM should have been buried in the morning......just sayin'
←Rate | 09-03-2009 17:00 by troy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doesnt watch Dancing with the stars, or American Idol, for the same reason he doent eat or drink anything soy, because hes afraid to put toomuch estrogen in his system.
←Rate | 09-03-2009 16:26 by PEDRO | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon a recent survey showed .0025% of woman think about "x" during sex, in a similar study, "x" thinks about "x" 100% of the time during sex.
←Rate | 09-03-2009 16:23 by Pedro | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon you look so beautiful.......GOD THIS THING SUCKS AT SARCASM
←Rate | 09-03-2009 14:42 by blade Comments (0)  


   messageicon brushing his teeth and having so much fun, but he never lets the water run.
←Rate | 09-03-2009 09:17 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon a little annoyed to see that they sell "Shamwows" at Costco and Zellers...all these years I believed they were NOT SOLD IN STORES!!!
←Rate | 09-03-2009 08:22 by Jesse | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon wishing everyone a happy Friday eve!
←Rate | 09-03-2009 08:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon luckily for some adults, illiteracy is not a crime.
←Rate | 09-03-2009 07:51 by Danmanz | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon finds it amusing when SUV drivers weave around to avoid potholes.
←Rate | 09-03-2009 02:09 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon ways of making you talk....or I can whip you in the balls while ur laughing hysterically
←Rate | 09-02-2009 22:04 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon says when my psychiatrist told me I was crazy, I told him I wanted a second opinion. He said, "Alright, you're ugly too." I guess I need to be careful what I ask for.
←Rate | 09-02-2009 17:26 by Ron | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many of the Lost cast does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but it will take 20 episodes.
←Rate | 09-02-2009 14:44 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was at a cash machine when an old lady walked up and asked me to help her check her balance. So I pushed her over.
←Rate | 09-02-2009 14:39 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.
←Rate | 09-02-2009 14:38 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
←Rate | 09-02-2009 14:36 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon has a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
←Rate | 09-02-2009 11:09 by Vybe | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Meetings today with my Life Coach, an Aroma Therapist and a licensed Joyologist. Then sitting down and reevaluating my E! True Hollywood Story.
←Rate | 09-02-2009 09:24 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon is in the money!! I've just won $50,000 on the Nigerian Lottery (well after I've sent the £250 processing fee). Not a bad days work, especially as I never entered it in the first place!
←Rate | 09-02-2009 03:18 by deithy | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon asks if what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas....... then why did my new wife follow me home????
←Rate | 09-02-2009 01:33 by guest-TJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon he can cook, clean, multitask, and definatly drive better then most of the woman he knows.
←Rate | 09-02-2009 01:24 by pedro | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


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